The buffet is laid with serving platters, ladles and bowls, the main option being a pumpkin chili.
“Should we grab some for the others?” I ask Axel, claiming myself a bowl. He snorts and shakes his head.
“Wyatt can’t handle spicy food, but you didn’t hear that from me.” I look away swiftly to hide the intrigue in my expression. That’s a note I’ll save for later. Dishing out my soup and taking some bread slices, Axel has already moved onto the far end - the desserts. They range from caramel apples and spiced cookies to a chocolate fountain with skewers of fruit and marshmallows ready for dipping. Garrett easily has one of each piled on his plate and Axel soon has the same. I roll my eyes at their sweet tooth, carefully holding my steaming soup. I starved myself all day rather than look bloated in my ball gown, and now I’m ready for a proper meal.
Reaching the chosen table, happily finding Wyatt is nowhere to be seen, the squad of beautiful girls instantly move away. I make a show of smelling my pits and checking my breath.
“It’s not you,“ Huxley laughs. His fingers twitch as he resists the urge to pull me into his lap. Instead, he stands to pull out my chair. “I sent them away,” he mutters against my neck, the brush of a kiss lingering there. I sit with a skeptically raised brow.
“You didn’t have to do that. I’m sure we all want to get laid tonight.“ Dax chokes on his drink just as Garrett sits on my other side. He slaps Dax’s back roughly, and the smile doesn’t leave his face.
“True that,” Garrett agrees, shoveling chips and guacamole into his mouth. It’s lucky he’s cute. “But we don’t want to get laid by any old piece of ass. Cheerleaders may be flexible but they never fail to have an attitude problem.” He points a chip at me. I lean on my fist, playing along.
“And you think ballerinas are any better? I hear we all have an ego complex.” Garrett grins, his dark eyes twinkling with mischief.
“But they have the stamina to make up for it.” He winks. Dax is still spluttering as he leans forward.
“What he means to say is, we’re not about that other woman drama.”
“Same thing,” Garrett shrugs and keeps eating. I laugh until my sides hurt and gulp down my punch. It feels good to be in public and not feel anxious. To be present and in good company, rather than hiding in the back and picking at my cuticles. I eat my soup and tap my feet to the music, watching those dancing. On my fourth punch refill, I become convinced it’s spiked. The warmth in my belly and carefree lightness to my head is enough evidence.
“Dance with me?” Axel asks. I lean against his shoulder, my smile stupidly wide.
“I thought you’d never ask.” Axel takes my hand and leads me to the center of the dancefloor. The music slows, causing the sea of bodies around us to either couple-up or slink away. As the lights dim, I eye Axel suspiciously. He pretends not to notice, but I see the dimple deepening as he tries to hide his smirk. Nothing surprises me with these guys anymore.
His hands rests on my waist, firm but gentle, and I place mine on his shoulders, feeling the strength beneath his jacket and t-shirt. I’m hyper-aware of every point of contact between us. I’m not sure who initiates it, but soon we’re closer, our bodies swaying together in perfect sync. I feel the heat radiating from him, smell the faint scent of his cologne mixed with an underlying layer of citrus. My breath hitches as his hand slides a little lower on my back, pulling me closer until there’s hardly any space between us.
I look up into his hazel eyes. They are smoldering with intensity, causing my pulse to quicken. Suddenly, the air feels thick with unspoken desire. His thumb brushes against my side, a subtle, almost teasing motion that leaves a trail of fire in its wake. A shiver rolls the length of my spine.
“Avery,” Axel murmurs, his voice husky. I still, forgetting how to move. How to breathe. The music plays around us, enveloping us in our own bubble amongst the masses. “I can’t describe how beautiful you are.” His words send a thrill through me, and I can’t help the smile that tugs at my lips.
“You don’t clean up too badly yourself,” I whisper back, my voice barely audible. T-shirt or not, Axel looks, smells and feels amazing. He leans in, his lips brushing my ear, and it takes everything in me not to shiver.
“I didn’t just mean tonight in that dress. You’re so fucking beautiful, Avery, sometimes just looking at you knocks me off kilter. You’re so pure,” he breathes, and then he pulls back just enough to look at me again. “So accepting. Do you think you could be with someone like me? Someone broken who will never be whole enough for you, but wants to try anyway?”
Our eyes lock, and for a moment, the world fades away. Axel’s expression is open, those cracks in his armor on full display for me to either patch up or tear to shreds. And it’s evident he doesn’t care which. He’s so willing to jump off the cliff with me and see what happens. I can’t deny wanting to do it too.
Drawn by an irresistible force, my lips find his. A slow, almost tentative movement that burns me from within. I lean into him, putting all of my weight into his strong arms. His hand slides up my back, cradling the nape of my neck, and I melt into him, losing myself in the sensation of his warmth, his mouth slow and seeking. Axel isn’t looking for hot and heavy, he’s giving me a deeper connection I’d usually run from. I’m not running this time.
When we finally pull apart, I’m breathless, my heart pounding. He rests his forehead against mine, and I can feel his breath, warm and ragged, mingling with mine.
“That was so hot,” a voice trembles slightly at my back. I shift, noticing Garrett is close behind, and that it’s his hand on my nape, guiding me into Axel. “Mind if I cut in?” Despite asking the question, Garrett doesn’t wait for a response. His hands grip my waist and he physically sets me aside before stepping into Axel’s personal space. Winding his arms around Axel’s neck, Garrett sways, twisting them both away from my eyeline. A light tap on my shoulder announces Dax’s arrival.
“I’m not quite sure what just happened.” I blink a few times. Dax laughs, holding out his hand for me like a gentleman.
“Garrett does what he’s best at. He pushed the two of you together and then decided he was jealous. He’s fickle, you’ll get used to it.” Spinning me in a ballroom-style twirl, Dax draws me close into his body, but keeps his hands in the proper places and our bodies properly distanced. I smile up at him.
“There’s a lot of people around. Shouldn’t I be worried about the rumors I’m creating here?” I half-tease, but also notice the side glances I receive from switching from one Shadowed Soul to the next.
“It depends,” Dax half shrugs, smirking all the while.
“On what?”
“On if you care about what people think, or if you would rather chase what your heart wants. You can be respected and admired by those who don’t know you, or you can be happy.” My brows lift as I’m caught off-guard by Dax’s honesty. I don’t know why, he’s never given me any half-truths or false fantasies. Stepping into his body to avoid his stare, I rest my head against Dax’s shoulder. He takes his cue to tighten his arms around my back and just hold me, swaying to a rhythm that is completely off-beat and totally our own.
My thoughts drift to my mom. There’s no better example of public opinion. She was admired by the entire world, always in the news for her charity work and generosity. She spent her entire life living for others, myself included. But now I think back to the times she thought I wasn’t watching. To when she’d play melancholy tunes on the piano or forget to sit properly when watching a movie. In those moments, I saw a woman who gave all of herself to others, and I’m starting to wonder if there was anything left for herself. Living that way is exhausting, and I’ve never really given a shit about respect.
“I choose happiness.” I declare. Those large hands on my lower back tighten.