Page 81 of Those Two Words

“I-I literally have no idea what to say.” I laugh nervously.

“You don’t have to say anything, but I’m glad we had this talk. If you’ll excuse me, I need to go and stop a rabble of children from destroying this house.” She squeezes my shoulder before heading toward the party but stops and turns when she reaches the end of the hallway.

“I also think you guys are idiots if you let this pass you by,” she says with a wink.

Well great. Now I want to be her friend.

thirty-three

PATRICK

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday, dear Lottie, happy birthday to you!”

A chorus of people sing to my daughter as she stands in front of a cake bigger than her head. With her hands clasped together under her chin and the widest smile on her face, she looks around the room at all the people here to celebrate her.

And in classic Lottie fashion, she is eating it up.

Carrie and I are on either side of her, and I bend down to whisper in her ear, “Make a wish, Lottie.”

She takes a deep breath before blowing out her candles with gusto, triggering a round of cheers around us.

We cut the cake, eat food, and play party games, before people slowly head home. As the last of Lottie’s friends waves goodbye, my mom pops up next to me at the front door.

“Hey, Lottie, how about a sleepover at Grandma’s tonight?” she asks, looking at Lottie, who is leaning against my leg.

“Ohhhh yesyesyesyes. Please, Daddy?” Lottie begs beside me, hands pressed together in prayer. Monday is technically her birthday, so I don’t mind her staying out tonight. But I still feel guilty, especially since my mom has helped so much recently. She’s usually at Carrie’s on Saturdays, but we decided it would be easier for her to sleep here tonight after the party.

“Mom, you had her a couple of weekends ago.”

“Exactly. It’s been too long since she’s stayed with me. Don’t keep my grandbaby away from me.”

“Only if you’re sure. She is high on sugar and life, so good luck to you.”

“Yes! Best day ever!” Lottie cheers and darts to the kitchen where my brothers and Jo are tidying up. Not before shouting, “I’m high!” at the top of her lungs. Yeah, Carrie is not going to be impressed about that one.

“Thanks, Mom. I love her, but I’m exhausted and my ears are still ringing from all the screaming.”

“My pleasure.” She starts packing one of Lottie’s backpacks with a pair of shoes and a raincoat. “Now that you have a free evening, why don’t you ask Jo to stay for a while.”

Of course there’s an ulterior motive.

“I’m sure she has better things to do tonight.” Though I secretly hope she doesn’t.

Having her here with me today, among our family and friends, has been amazing, and I know Lottie loved having her here. Her scream echoed through the house when she saw Jo’s outfit and dragged her around the party telling all her classmates that her best friend is a real-life princess.

“You won’t know unless you ask.” She shoves me toward the kitchen with way too much strength for a woman her size. “Go and save her from your brothers.”

Squinting my eyes at her suspiciously, I plant my feet firmly on the ground. “What are you up to?”

“Patrick, I have no idea what you’re talking about…” There’s always a but. “But, I think Jo and her dad had a little falling out earlier. She’s bound to be a little down now that Harriet has left town too. She could use a friend, don’t you think?”

I look at her in question, but she just shrugs, and I take note to ask Jo about this. There was a little tension between them, but I guessed it was embarrassment about her dad walking in on us. I don’t bother arguing with my mom, because some time alone, in an actual house, rather than a bar or the bench of my truck, would be nice. I don’t mean for sex, either, but spending time together like we used to.

Okay, and potentially some sex.

That afternoon in my truck was like nothing in my life. We were a little tipsy and nervous during our first time together, and even though it was years ago, our bodies remembered each other. I would have waited a lifetime to experience that with her again, but I’m fucking grateful I didn’t have to.

My mom snaps me out of my thoughts with a light tap on my cheek.

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