Page 66 of Those Two Words

“That must have been nice to go through that together,” I whisper.

“It was, she was a great best friend. Just remind yourself that even on the bad days, your mom would be so proud of you and the amazing women you and your sister have grown into. Ted would too. I know my boy kept you at arm’s length at first, but he means well. He’s protective of his heart and the people around him. That includes you.”

Patrick has mentioned how he’s certain his family knows what went on between us all those years ago. I told him that was ridiculous, however, from the curious look on Claire’s face, I owe him an apology.

“I couldn’t find the one of you and Patrick from that first New Year’s Eve party we hosted. I’m sure it’s lying around somewhere. Now—” She shoves the shoe box in my hands and shoos me out of the kitchen. “Get out of here, send your father in, and go hang out with your sister and my boys.”

A short while later, we’re all cozied up in the living room, passing around the photos.

Harriet and I haven’t left each other’s side all night, and now we’re smushed next to each other on the sofa, laughing uncontrollably at a photo of us as we run away from a swarm of mosquitoes during one of our camping trips. Even though we talk every day, nothing beats catching up with each other like this. I tell her everything that she doesn’t already know. Well, not recent progress with Patrick, because I’ll never hear the end of it. I also decided not to ask her about the trip he took to visit me all those years ago, knowing she kept it from me for my own good. Looking back, I’m glad I didn’t know.

She’s here until next week and has plans to see some friends upstate over the weekend. Patrick is still playing coy about how Harriet suddenly had the cash. When I cornered him, he simply said, “Maybe she won the lottery.” The fact he did that for me is one of the reasons I was giving him heart eyes across the dining table all night.

Emotion has been swelling in my chest all evening at how familiar this dinner has been, but not painful emotions.

I wasn’t sure what to expect from tonight. Nostalgia was heavy in the air, and it was hard not to notice the absence of two people. Evenings like tonight are what I feared, being reminded of what we’ve all lost, yet as I look around at the people I grew up with, all I feel is happiness. The love and laughter shared helped remind me how much I loved these nights and how much I’ve missed them.

Lottie is snoring softly in Graham’s lap, having eaten her body weight in Claire’s blueberry pie. I was hoping he would have warmed up to me by now, but he’s barely spoken a word to me. I try not to take it personally, knowing Graham’s always been quiet. Booth was here for a short while, but there was a problem with one of the ovens at the restaurant, and he had to head out early.

“Patrick, how has my big sister been behaving since she’s returned?” Harriet asks from her seat next to me.

His glass is halfway to his lips when he freezes at her question, looking around the room like there’s another Patrick she’s speaking to.

“Oh, umm, yeah, she’s been a good girl. I mean, fine! She’s fine. No, she’s been fine.” He stands from the sofa and bolts out of the room. No explanation. Harriet and I can’t hold back our roar of laughter from where we’re curled up under a blanket.

“I’ll go check on him,” Harriet says and follows Patrick to wherever he’s run off to.

An awkwardness settles in the room when it’s just Graham and me left. I wish Lottie was awake to fill the silence.

“How’s work be?—”

“Don’t hurt him again,” Graham says abruptly, cutting me off. There’s no anger or malice in his tone, and I don’t need to question who he’s referring to.

“I don’t—I never meant to hurt him,” I say.

“You might not have intended to, but you did. He won’t say it, but he was a mess. Cut up over everything that went on. I don’t blame you for it, we were all going through a lot then, and he’s not as tough as he makes out. He tries so hard to be the brave one for us all and sometimes forgets to look after himself.”

“I’m sorry, Graham.” His expression softens just a fraction. “I’m sorry for leaving how I did and at such a difficult time for you all. Leaving this town, my home, wasn’t easy. Not a day has gone by where I didn’t think about you all. I would never intentionally hurt Patrick. I care for him so much and I want to be the person that he can lean on.” I lay my hand across my chest, hoping he hears the sincerity in my voice. “I’ve missed you all so much, and I understand if it’s too late for us to be friends again, but this is my home. And I’m here to stay.”

I drop my eyes, waiting for his response. The sound of shuffling from across the room has me looking up to where he is carefully shifting Lottie off his lap. It’s difficult not to feel the stabbing of disappointment in my chest when he walks toward the door. I’m about to tell him to stay and that I’ll leave, when I’m pulled into a pair of strong arms, my face smushed against the wool of his cardigan.

Graham is hugging me.

He’s actually crushing me, and I let out a squeak when the circulation to my lower half starts to cut off. With one final squeeze, he releases me.

He stands up straight and gives me one of those rare smiles. “He’s glad you’re home. We all are.”

As I watch Graham walk out of the room, I sit there speechless. That turned out so much differently than how it played out in my head. I guess we’re friends again, or maybe we never stopped.

For years I’ve held onto the fear that the people who knew me before, wouldn’t see me the same. Wouldn’t be able to forgive me for leaving or understand the reasons behind it.

I should have known that my friends and family, wouldn’t do that.

Because these are my people.

twenty-eight

PATRICK

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