Page 64 of Those Two Words

Her eyes are wide, but she doesn’t look upset or angry. When she finally looks up at me, the biggest grin stretches across her face.

“Patrick. We have a full house tonight,” she whispers in shock.

“No way.” I sidle up next to her and peer down at the screen she’s pointing at excitedly. It takes few seconds for me to take in what I’m looking, and then I see she’s right.

“Holy. Fucking. Shit. We haven’t had a full house since last summer.”

I look up at Jo, who is trying her hardest to contain her excitement. She doesn’t want to jinx it, and neither do I, but this feels positive. It feels like we could save the restaurant after all.

And I couldn’t have done it without her.

twenty-seven

JOHANNA

“How’s your week gone so far?” Amanda asks through the speakers of my laptop. Even though our sessions are now held on video call, they’re just as valuable. It took me a while to find the perfect match with a therapist, learning to not settle first time around.

“It’s been really good, although a little hectic,” I reply. “Tomorrow is the first day of the Easter fair, and it all seems to be going to plan. The busy schedule has helped keep my mind occupied.”

“That’s great. Don’t forget, if it gets too much for you, step away for five minutes.”

“I don’t know if the familiarity of the crowd is a blessing or a curse yet.”

“Who will you be working with at the fair?”

The town has an Easter fair every year, and it’s crazy to think this is the first time Our Place will have a table there. We’ll be serving a small selection of menu items, with all the ingredients having been sourced right here on the bay or from Hancock County. “Keeping it local,” is how I sold it to the town’s council members when I put in a last-minute application for a table, who pride themselves on using locally sourced produce and stock.

Everyone was impressed and happy to give us a table, apart from Mrs. Stewart, who was swiftly outvoted. She made sure to warn us of the bullshit penalties we’d receive, should we even dare bring “out-of-county contraband” to the fair.

“I’ll be with Booth, our head chef. He’ll be cooking, I’ll be serving.”

“That’s Patrick’s youngest brother, right?” she asks.

Amanda knows everything about Patrick, and I know I need to tell her about the newest development between us.

“Yeah, that’s him.” I fiddle with the tassels on the pillow next to me. We only have a few more sessions left together until I start working with my new therapist at the beginning of June. “Speaking of Patrick…”

When I look back at the screen, she’s sitting there patiently, waiting for me to finish.

“We’ve, umm. Well, I guess you could say we picked up where we left off.”

“How do you feel about that?”

“Wow, that’s the most therapist thing you’ve ever said.” We have a great relationship, never shying away from humor, but she knows just as well as I do that I’m stalling. “I’m scared.”

“Talk me through that. What scares you?”

“I’m scared that all his reassurances about being patient with me will wear thin. Or that when he finds out why I left, he’ll think it’s dumb or a huge overreaction. That I’ll cast a shadow over the death of his dad. Scared that if the outcome of the restaurant doesn’t turn out how we want it to, will he want me to stick around? He’s put so much into that place in the years I’ve been gone. He wants to try, but what if down the line he realizes I wasn’t worth the wait or doesn’t understand me on my low days? He has a young daughter he needs to put first, and the last thing I want to do is get in the way of that. She’s amazing, such a trip, but I still struggle to accept that we’ve had these huge life occurrences without each other.”

“Those are all valid fears, and I’m sure he has his own. I wish I had the answers or could tell you those outcomes aren’t possible. Only you will know if moving forward together as partners is worth the risk. The risk being those fears you have coming true. There’s also a risk that everything turns out exactly as you want it. Go at your own pace, and remember, you deserve to be happy, Jo. You’ve come a long way. Can I ask…Is he worth the risk?”

“He is.” There’s zero hesitation in my answer.

“Then I think the first step is being honest with him. We’re running out of time, but I’d really like us to spend time on our next session helping you prepare for that conversation.”

I know I can’t avoid it forever, but having her support before I speak to Patrick helps ease my worries.

We chat for another couple of minutes before ending the call. I always feel confident and somewhat validated in my feelings after a session with Amanda, and it puts me in a good mood for the rest of the afternoon. I take an extra-long bath, give myself a pedicure, and finally finish off the puzzle of the Eiffel Tower. I can’t wait to rub it in Patrick’s face.

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