Page 48 of Those Two Words

“You only turn twenty-one once. Happy birthday, Jo,” I whisper. How easy it would be to lay a soft kiss right here. Or on her cheek. Her mouth. I pull my head back and take her in. Her freckles, bright smile, everything. I can’t take it in fast enough or get enough of her, needing to catalog every small detail, as if I don’t have her face memorized already.

“I can’t believe you’re here! And for my birthday. Oh my god, I think I might cry.” She punches me in the arm. “How dare you make me cry on my birthday, Patrick Sadler.”

“Ouch. You can’t get your present if you beat me up.”

“Oh, gimme gimme,” she says, holding out two grabby hands toward me.

“Ah-ah. After dinner. I booked this great place and I would love to take you out. Whaddya say?” I don’t have it with me anyway, it’s back at my hotel. My parents helped cover the cost of the trip, but the tickets to see Green Day in the fall were all me.

“Oh. Patr—” I hate the way her voice deflates with disappointment, but her words are cut short when two arms loop around her from behind, pulling her back abruptly. Right into the chest of a guy I don’t know. I’m about to ask what the fuck he thinks he’s doing, but when he opens his mouth, my heart drops.

“Babe, you need to get ready. The party starts soon,” he says before slapping her on the ass and making her jump. The laugh she lets out is fake. “Oh, hey, man, didn’t see you standing there. I’m Aaron.”

Clearing my throat, I hold out my hand to him, hoping Jo doesn’t see the devastation seeping out of me. “Hey. I’ve heard a lot about you. I’m Patrick.”

“Ohhh, Joey’s little school friend, right?”

Joey. She hates that name, so why doesn’t she correct him? She just stands there awkwardly in his hold, her dejected stare never leaving mine.

“Yeah, that’s the one. Umm, you guys headed to a party? Is it for you?”

“Oh nah, this is my buddy’s. He got this sick apartment off campus and we’re going to check it out, right, babe?”

“Yeah. You should come, Patrick?” Jo asks with pleading eyes.

This fucking douche isn’t even taking her out on her birthday. He’s dragging her to someone else’s party. And by the looks of it, Aaron is no longer an ex.

“No, I don’t wanna ruin your plans. This was just a flying visit, I’m headed home tonight.” Jo knows I’m lying, but I can’t stand here for a moment longer. Thrusting the flowers toward her, she takes them slowly. “These are for you. I think they’re dying, though. I hope you have a great birthday. Good to meet you, Aaron.”

I take a step back and go to turn away when she pulls herself from Aaron’s grasp and grabs hold of my hand.

She steps into me, lowering her voice, but Aaron is already too busy chatting to some guy behind him. “Pat, is your flight really tonight?”

“Yeah, Jo, I wish I could stay. Really. I’ll text you when I land, and I’ll see you at Thanksgiving.” Leaning down, I place that small kiss after all, laying it softly on her cheek. “You deserve better than him,” I whisper, but give her the best smile I can muster up, even though it’s cracking at the edges. Cracks are breaking out everywhere. Even where she can’t see.

Her eyes widen at my words, and her mouth opens and closes as she fumbles to find her voice.

I take that as my cue. Turning on my heel, I hightail it out of the quad. I don’t dare look back.

Because if I do, I’ll see all the hope I had splattered on the floor where it spilled from my chest.

Groaning, I scrub a hand down my face, wincing at the memory. We were young, seniors in college, and that was the summer I decided to seize the day. I’d finally let Jo know how I felt—how I’d felt for a while.

It didn’t work out, clearly, and from there, we found ourselves cemented in a “friends only” status that only became more concrete the older we became.

Until that night.

Those years of friendship are ones I cherish, I just wish we’d acted sooner on our feelings.

But the thing is, she’s here.

Back in Sutton Bay.

I convinced myself almost six years ago that we had clocked in all our chances. Convinced she was happy in Tennessee, the memories of our time together a thing of the past. But no, she’s here, and friends don’t kiss each other like that. We’ve proven that before.

I know we’re scared. Fuck, I’m petrified, but maybe it’s more about her not feeling the same way, and less about our past. We can’t change what happened, but we can decide our future. I have questions, she has answers. From what I’ve pieced together, I can’t rush Jo for those answers, with the fear of pushing her away.

If I let this chance pass us by, I fear it’s the last one we’ll ever get. It would be the biggest regret of my life if I don’t at least speak to her and see what she wants. My mom says that we have to heal first, and I don’t know if it was Jo or me that needed to do the healing. Perhaps both.

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