Page 26 of Those Two Words

The coat slips from his grip and my arm falls limply at my side. Both of us weighed down with anguish and defeat.

We stare. Eyes locked. Blue meets green. Heartache meets sorrow.

“I never wanted to leave, Patrick.”

“But you did.” And god, does the brokenness in his voice fracture my heart right open.

“I had to leave. It was killing my dad to see me like that.”

“To see you like what?”

I bite my tongue so hard at that slipup and shake my head. “It doesn’t matter, you’re right, I did leave. I needed ti?—”

“Time. I know. And I gave you that. I said I would wait…clearly it wasn’t enough.”

“Waited?” I shout. The space I wanted from him disappears as I step forward. “You might have waited, but there was clearly an expiration date on how long. Harriet told you I didn’t want to speak to or see anyone.”

Despite the rage that flares in his eyes, I stand strong. With every word, we step closer. “We said we would give this a go between you and me. I would have waited however long you needed, but you moved on. You made a happy little life for yourself in Tennessee. Without me.” His voice rises, ricocheting off the brick wall of the bar and my heart.

I rear back at his words. “Happy?” I whisper. Patrick’s accusation extinguishes all the heat in my voice. “You think I was happy?”

“From what I saw, you looked pretty happy to me.”

And at that, the remaining embers are smothered by his words.

“You saw me? When?”

Vulnerability sparks in his eyes. His gaze falls away for a second before it swings back to me. “I flew out to see you. A month after you left.”

My heart stops.

His hands run through his messy hair, gripping the strands so tightly I worry he’s hurting himself. “I came over to your apartment right after I landed, but Harriet wouldn’t tell me where you were at first. I just wanted to see you; check you were okay. She told me you needed time away from everyone, that you needed space, but I’d heard those words on repeat for weeks on end from your dad. It drove me crazy not knowing what was going on with you. Not knowing why you left. I told myself once I knew you were okay, I’d give you what you wanted. Maybe it was selfish of me, but I wasn’t thinking straight.”

“You came to see me?” The words are barely audible. “Why didn’t I know this?”

“I didn’t stick around once I saw you.”

“Did Harry know?”

He doesn’t reply, but from the guilty look on his face, she did.

It takes a second for his words to make sense in the tornado that is my brain. He came to Tennessee. To see me. To check on me. But what did he see that made him leave without making himself known?

“W-what did you see?” A very small and unguarded part of me worries that he saw me at my worst. That somehow he saw me in the middle of a panic episode.

“Does it matter? What I saw was enough.” From the pained look in his eyes, I think it does matter.

“Patrick, whatever you think you saw it wa?—”

“A guy. I saw you with another guy.”

The drop in my stomach is so sudden, I sway backward with the sensation, my foot slipping on the gravel, but he doesn’t let me fall. No, he grabs hold of my shoulders, steadying me, and doesn’t let go.

I had friends, but in the first month, I only hung out with Harriet, so who did he—Davis. He must have seen me with Davis the night I went to visit him at the bar where he was playing. That’s the only explanation, because I haven’t been on a date or with another man in a long time. Almost six years, to be precise, but Patrick doesn’t need to know that.

“Whatever you saw that night wasn’t what you think. I promise you. I wish I knew you were there or let me explain. But I definitely wasn’t happy, far from it.”

“So, who was he? You never responded to my calls and texts. You can’t blame me for seeing you wrapped up in his arms and putting two and two together. The only time you contacted me was months later.”

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