Page 103 of Those Two Words

“Hey, Valerie. I hope you remember me.” There goes my heart again. “This will be short, because there’s something important I need to tell your daughter. But I just wanted to stop by and thank you for bringing Johanna into my life, and for being the best friend my parents could have asked for. I suspect you know this already, but Johanna is one of the strongest people I know. You and George should be so proud of the woman she’s grown into.” His voice drops a level; I almost don’t make out his words, but when I do, there’s no controlling the flow of tears. “If you see my dad, thank him for me and tell him this. I’m finally chasing after what I want, and I won’t waste a second of it once I have it.”

He slowly stands and walks back to where I’m standing stock-still. An air of calmness radiates off him, so different from the man I saw earlier today.My chest aches and vibrates with every step he takes.

“I know you wanted your space,” he says, standing in front of me now. “And I promise I’ll always give that to you, but I needed to say two things. First, I’m sorry for how I reacted at the restaurant. I didn’t mean a word of what I said and I’m an idiot.”

“I didn’t need space from you, Patrick. I just needed space in general. I had to take my meds, and then the idea of coming out here suddenly felt like the right thing to do. Like the final step in my journey to coming home. It’s always been so special to me, and I’m sorry if I had you worrying or thinking I’d left you again.”

“I didn’t think you’d left. And even if you did, I would have followed you and waited until you were ready. You’re worth the wait. I know what this place means to you, I’ll bring you here whenever you want.”

He holds out his hand to me and I look at it in confusion. “Friends?” he asks and nudges his outstretched hand, palm facing down, against my arm. “I promise I won’t spit in it this time.”

Laughing, I decide to go along with it. My head is spinning too much to try to make sense of it.

I reach out and slip my hand under his, when something hard digs into my palm. My head tilts in question, and when I see what he’s handed me, something between a gasp, cry, and laugh echoes around us.

The colors of the sky. The white tip of the mountain. Even down to the curvature of the edges, is exactly how I imagined it would look.

“The missing piece,” I whisper. “How did I not know you had it this whole time?”

I look up at him and expect to see his face lit with a smug smile, but he stares at the puzzle piece with such fondness.

“I’m not even sorry for taking it. It’s a good thing I did, too, because it told me where I could find you.” He points out at the bay and to the sunset behind us, the sun minutes from sinking behind the horizon.

“You found me.”

“I found you.”

“What was the second thing you wanted to say?” He closes the distance between us and cups the side of my face with his hand, the other looping around my back and pulling me close until there isn’t a sliver of space between us. It’s amazing how his touch stokes a fire within me and keeps me steady simultaneously.

“I thought it would be obvious by now.” He shakes his head, and his smile grows even bigger as he looks at me. “I love you.”

And off my heart goes, taking flight in my chest with such a force, I might float up into the orange-tinted clouds if he didn’t have such a tight grip on me.

He doesn’t give me a chance to respond, because he lowers his head and brushes his lips teasingly, not quite a kiss, against mine.

“When I felt lost or sad, that missing piece kept me grounded. It reminded me of all the amazing times we had together, and I suppose of all the times I spent too scared or nervous to chase after you. I never stopped loving you, not when you left, not ever. You make me so happy, love. The type of happiness I can’t put into words. The kind that hurts when I think about it too much, but it’s a good type of hurt. I won’t regret our time apart, not if it brought us to this very moment. You have and will always be the holder of all my joy and my heart.

“I want to spend the rest of my life making you happy. To see that beautiful smile on your face every day when I wake up, and every night when I go to sleep.” He cradles my face in both hands and whispers his next words against my lips, exhaling the love he has for me deep into my bones. “Can we spend the rest of our lives making each other happy?”

Does he not know he’s been doing that my entire life?

On my darkest of days, Patrick was there. In my memories, in the note I kept, and in my heart. Even when I thought our time together was short lived, knowing we shared years of memories together was such a comfort.

“I love you. I have loved you for as long as I can remember. That love is what led me home. You led me home. Loving you was never a question. I had to love myself first. I’m sorry it took me so long, but my heart is yours, if you’ll give me yours in return?”

He slowly shakes his head, the green of his eyes glowing brighter from the burning sky.

“Johanna, my love. You can’t have my heart, because you already own it. I don’t want it back, but please don’t make me watch you walk away with it again.” His fingers caress the back of my head as his thumbs wipe away my tears.

I bring my hand up to his chest and place it over his heart, the beat of it matching the tempo of my own. “Never, Patrick. Never again.”

We decide we’ve done enough talking, as we close that small distance between our lips, allowing ourselves to become even more consumed with the other. If that’s even possible. And with this kiss, and our words, everything clicks into place.

Like the last piece of a puzzle.

He tugs me closer and lets me know how much he loves me with this kiss. It’s slow and sweet, needy and desperate. Our lips glide over each other before we’re nipping and sucking.

There are only two words left to say.

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