Page 58 of Those Two Words

It’s up to me to help break down this last barrier between us, and it starts with me being brave enough to answer the one question he hasn’t dared to ask. What made me leave? The first thing I expected him to collar me with, yet all he’s shown me is patience and empathy. He deserves to hear the truth, no matter how much it makes my skin itch to think about sharing my vulnerabilities with him.

For him, I need to be strong. I need to overcome my insecurities, or I worry the music will stop again.

“I want to try too. With you.”

He places a chaste kiss between my brows, hands still cupping my cheeks. When he pulls back, he looks calmer, more settled in himself.

“Okay. Now I don’t know about you, but I need some sleep.”

I laugh and the yawn that follows confirms that sleep is calling my name too, though, I have no idea how I’m going to find it after what we just did.

Once he’s locked up, driven me home, made sure I’m safely in my apartment, I go to sleep praying we find our rhythm again.

twenty-four

PATRICK

“Hey, spud. Can you get your bag from your room and then we can head out?”

Lottie stands at the bottom of the stairs, with a scowl that shouldn’t look cute. She lets out a tiny huff before running up the steps to her room without a word, clearly mad at me still. I didn’t get home until 3:00 a.m. after dropping Jo off at her apartment, and even then, it took me hours to fall asleep. Thoughts of Jo played on repeat. Her taste. Her sweet moans. Her.

I was so pent up and only managed to find sleep after replaying the night’s activities over in my head and coming all over my stomach.

Jo is turning me back into a horny teenager.

When Lottie stays at Carrie’s, she likes to call me in the mornings to tell me about her dreams, even though she doesn’t remember them half the time. It’s my favorite way to start the day, but today, I slept through the call and the dad guilt is coming in strong.

“Did you have fun last night? She said you had a girly sleepover planned,” I ask Carrie, who is standing by the front door holding Lottie’s coat and shoes.Friday is her day with Lottie, but I asked if I could take Lottie out today after school, wanting to show her some of the ducklings at the park.

“I mean, if watching Tangled three times and her stealing all the popcorn makes for a good sleepover, then yes, we had a great time.” She laughs and shakes her head. “I asked if we could watch something else, and she told me it was ‘her turn’ to pick. I tried to explain it’s always her turn, but apparently you pick the movies at your house?”

“Yeah, you’ve been played, because it’s always her night to choose when she’s with me too. Tangled, huh?”

“Her current Disney princess obsession, apparently. When I asked her why, she said it reminds her of her new best friend, JoJo.” She tilts her head, her tone curious. “Who is this friend?”

I could lie and say it’s a teacher from her school, but I’m sure Carrie will work it out eventually. “Just George’s daughter, Johanna.”

“Just George’s daughter? Really, Patrick? God, men are so dense sometimes.”

“I—she is George’s daughter.” I take off my baseball hat to scratch my head, feeling like I’m on the wrong side of an interrogation suddenly.

She walks up to me, places a hand on my shoulder, and looks me right in the eyes. “Patrick. You might not have shared much over the years, but don’t be an idiot. We both know she was never just anything.”

Carrie disappears upstairs to check on Lottie. I’m left there in the hallway, speechless at her observation. Here I was thinking it was only my brothers and mom with suspicions about Jo and me. Carrie knows about Jo from family get-togethers she’s attended, but clearly my attempt at hiding the truth was futile.

Pulling out my phone from my pocket, I unlock the screen and type out a message.

Patrick: Hey, hope you got some sleep before your shift today.

Her reply comes instantly, and I feel like a teenage boy texting his crush—which, fifteen years ago, is exactly what I was.

Johanna: The 4 hours I got were good, I’m dead on my feet now though. I have a lot of regrets about working a double today.

It’s almost midday on a Friday, no doubt in the middle of the lunch rush. This is the earliest we’ve seen tourists flock to the town, and I’m not complaining, because it’s the first time in months we’ve experienced such busy afternoons.

Before I can respond, another text from her comes through.

Johanna: Booth is giving me a look *side eye emoji*

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