Page 7 of Home Free

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Elise lay with her head against Finn’s chest and listened to the soft thump of his heartbeat. Their naked bodies were still entwined under the sheets, Elise’s bare leg thrown over Finn’s thigh, his arms wrapped around her like he never wanted to let go.

Ronan had cooked steaks and Finn had made baked potatoes while Julia and Elise threw together a salad from some of the supplies they brought from the city. The conversation had been easy and light, but Elise had sensed an undercurrent of tension between Ronan and Finn, an undercurrent that could only be related to the man they were keeping prisoner.

Elise didn’t like to think about the man named Eudorus, didn’t like to think about the fact that he was in the garage of the mountain house. She didn’t want to ponder his condition, to wonder how badly he was hurt and how much of his misery was inflicted by Finn.

Maybe that made her a coward — it wouldn’t be the first time — but she didn’t have the bandwidth for the moral quandary of what Finn and his brothers were doing. How was she supposed to weigh the suffering of a man like Eudorus, who’d marched into a village in Ukraine and killed the parents of a small boy while he watched, against the terror of Fedir and Iryna, who’d surely known what was going to happen to them when the men arrived at their home?

Against the pain of Petro, who’d heard his parents’ murder and would live the rest of his life without them?

She couldn’t. She could take care of Finn. That was all she could manage, all she could find the energy to care about while she waded through the murky situations in which she found herself — the one related to Fedir and Iryna’s murder and the one related to her future with Finn, which felt no less weighty.

Then again, Finn didn’t seem to want her to take care of him. In fact, she wasn’t sure he wanted anything at all besides justice for Fedir, Iryna, and Petro. Even now, he felt far away, his body solid and warm under her, his mind adrift.

It was so different from the time they’d shared in Scotland. Then it had been just the two of them, and she’d felt like their minds were working in tandem, like they were creating something together, like their very hearts were beating in time.

“Where are you?” she murmured, using her fingertip to make circles on his bare chest.

His arms tightened around her. “Right here, beautiful.”

She kissed his naked skin. “No you’re not. It’s okay, but let’s not start lying to each other.”

He took so long to reply she wondered if he’d heard her.

“I’m sorry,” he finally said.

She propped her chin on his chest and looked up at him through the darkness. His face was silhouetted against the moonlight leaking in from the big windows, his eyes unreadable. “It’s okay. Just talk to me.”

“I don’t want to,” he said.

She might have flinched at the words if his voice hadn’t sounded so tender. “Why?”

He looked down at her. “It’s ugly. You don’t deserve ugly.”

“I’ve seen plenty of ugly,” she reminded him.

He pushed her hair back from her cheek. “Exactly. I would take it away if I could. I can’t, but I can protect you from seeing more.”

“What if I don’t want you to protect me?” she asked.

“I don’t want to say it doesn’t matter, but…”

“It doesn’t matter.” She knew she sounded bitter as she lay her head back on his chest.

“Look at me, El.” The words were spoken softly but there was a new command in them.

She looked up at him.

“I love you. Do you know what that means?”

She nodded. She loved him too. Knew that it meant wanting to protect him, wanting to give him only love and joy.

He sighed with relief and pulled her to him, then kissed the top of her head. “I’ve been half alive without you. Don’t ask me to bring him into our bed, into our lives.”

Him. Eudorus.

“Okay.” She stretched to touch her mouth to Finn’s in a lingering kiss.

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