Page 12 of Home Free

Julia’s features softened. “Of course. I just…”

“What? Go ahead and say it.” Elise knew exactly what her sister was thinking.

“I just know you, El. I know how you get wrapped up in people,” Julia said.

“In men, you mean,” Elise said. “Like Mom.”

“Okay, in men. But not like Mom. Never like Mom,” Julia said.

“Am I ever allowed to change?” Elise asked, aware that her voice was rising. “Or will you always see me as the person I was when I was dumb and twenty-one?”

Julia flinched, then nodded. “You’re right. Now I’m the one not being fair. You have changed, you have grown.”

“Thank you,” Elise said. It felt like an important acknowledgment, one Elise needed from someone like Julia, someone who’d known her before her kidnapping.

She hadn’t been aware she needed to hear it, but maybe she had.

“You’re worried about Finn,” Julia said. “Well, I’m worried about you okay?”

“I’m finally well enough to think about the big picture, to ask myself hard questions about who I am and what I want,” Elise said. “Isn’t that a good thing?”

Julia nodded, but her eyes were sad. “I’m being selfish. I don’t want to lose you.”

Elise shook her head. “You’re never going to lose me, Jules. We’re sisters. I just…” She drew in a breath. “I just need to figure out the kind of life I need to be happy, and I’m not sure this is it. You know?”

“I do,” Julia said. “Just promise me you’ll remember that Finn isn’t like Ronan. He won’t stay.”

“This isn’t about him.” She hesitated, wanting to be honest, with Julia and with herself. “It’s not all about him anyway. I’ve spent the last two years just trying to survive, and it’s not like I had any idea what to do with myself before that. I haven’t even had a chance to ask myself what I want.”

“Then you should do that.” Julia reached for her hand and looked in her eyes. “Just do yourself a favor and make sure it’s something that works without Finn.”

7

Finn bit into the crispy piece of battered fish and was immediately transported back to childhood. Their parents had taken them to Sully’s when they’d been kids, making an all-day production of the trip to Castle Island, which wasn’t an island anymore, but a peninsula.

They’d all piled into the car, fighting over the window seats, arguing until their dad had threatened to turn around and their mom had turned on the radio to get them singing instead of fighting.

They’d spent the day at the beach with a picnic lunch from home, but they’d ended every day at Sullivan’s, a little seafood and burger joint with outdoor seating.

Now that he thought about it, he wondered if their trips to Castle Island had been the subconscious catalyst for the beach days that had become legendary in his brothers’ household.

“You know,” Ronan was sitting next to Finn, but his words were aimed at Clay, biting into a cheeseburger across the table, “if you need a raise you could just ask. It’s fucking freezing out here.”

Finn had to concede that it was a bit early in the year for Sully’s. A cold wind blew in from the water, and the other tables on the patio were empty except for one, which was occupied by a handful of teenage boys laughing and staring at their phones.

Finn hadn’t wanted to come, hadn’t wanted to leave his work on Eudorus for even a day. He’d only agreed because Clay said he’d found something out about Ukraine, and Ronan had insisted it would be good for Finn to get a change of scenery while Declan held things down at the mountain house.

“You should thank me,” Clay said. “It’s good to get out, get some fresh air.”

Ronan stared at the hacker, whose skin was so white it was nearly translucent. If he’d been capable of looking dangerous, he might have been mistaken for a vampire.

“Right…” Ronan said. “That’s why you asked to meet out here — because you were worried about our health.”

They’d been working with Clay for years and it was well known that he liked to work them for free food in spite of the exorbitant fees MIS paid to keep him on retainer.

“You said you had something,” Finn reminded him. “About Ukraine.”

It never ceased to amaze him how his brothers tiptoed around Clay, but they’d all assured him that Clay’s skills were one in a million. If the man wanted to eat a cheeseburger outdoors in thirty-five-degree weather, Ronan would oblige, even if it meant gritting his teeth through the meal.

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