Page 29 of Something Forever

“I don’t know,” I reply honestly. “As out of control as I feel, it’s also sort of… liberating. It feels like I’m finally taking my life into my own hands.”

The waiter comes over and we order some appetizers to share. I manage to divert the conversation to her new project at work for a while, but she’s relentless. She’s paying the bill when she leans back in her chair, her scrutinizing gaze making me fidget in my seat.

“I love this unemployed look on you. Do you have a new skincare routine or something? I feel like you are literally glowing.”

“Stop it.” I glare at her, knowing it won’t deter her in the slightest.

“I’m serious!” she exclaims. “I bet it’s the pheromones, trying to attract your mate, Liam.”

“You’ve got to stop.”

She just laughs loud enough for the entire restaurant to hear. “You guys are absolutely going to fuck.”

“No way. We already discussed it, and we’re both allowed to see other people as long as we are respectful about it.”

She raises her eyebrows. “I bet you’d like to respectfully jump his bones.”

“Would you stop?” I groan.

“I’m telling you. Fifty bucks says you guys sleep together.”

I lift my drink. “Make it 100, because I am 100% sure nothing will ever happen between me and Liam.”

She clinks her glass against mine with a knowing grin. “You’re on. Just don’t come crying to me when the dick is so good you can barely walk straight.”

11

LIAM

It’s been a week since Whitney agreed to marry me, and I haven’t heard anything from her. I assume our agreement is still on, but I’m starting to get nervous. What if she changed her mind? What am I supposed to do then?

I’ve drafted eight texts to Luke’s dad to tell him I am working on a plan to honor Luke and deleted all of them. The only idea I’ve had is setting up a scholarship in his name, but I don’t really know anything about that. Still, I can’t help but feel excited about it. Finally, I have something to focus on.

Something important. Worthwhile.

Besides, I’m really starting to get sick of the smell of beer following me everywhere I go. I feel like it’s seeped into my pores. Plus, the stench reminds me of the way the lab smelled so clean — like sanitizer and latex gloves. I loved that smell. That’s how I used to smell. How I used to feel.

Clean.

I didn’t get home until four in the morning last night, which has been typical for me lately. Working all night and sleeping all day. Closing my eyes, I try to imagine what Luke would say if he saw me now.

Man, you’re a mess. Real women dig white coats, not White Claws.

He’d shove me and smile that foolish grin of his, the kind of smile that seemed so real and so deep. I used to look in his eyes when he laughed and swore he had this sort of spark, this light that felt wholly permanent somehow. I took it for granted. Didn’t realize how rare and special it was to find someone like him, someone who really seemed to brighten the world no matter where he went. That’s one thing I always admired about him — how genuinely good he was. I should have told him. Maybe if he’d known, if he’d understood how much everyone who met him looked up to him, maybe things would be different.

I push any thoughts of Luke from my mind and kick off my blankets, deciding it’s time to get up. I’m brewing coffee in the kitchen when Whitney shuffles in, a fluffy pink robe wrapped around her.

“Hey,” she says.

“Hey,” I reply.

It’s quiet. Is she going to say anything about the wedding plan? Do I need to get rings? Shit. Of course we need rings. Am I supposed to be in charge of that?

She crosses the kitchen and pulls out the blender. “Are you around this weekend?”

I lift my coffee to my lips. “I have a shift Friday night and Saturday night.”

She just hums in response.

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