Page 106 of Something Forever

LIAM

“Pass me that rag,” Darius calls from the other side of the bar.

It’s been two weeks since Whitney and I got back from our trip to England. It’s been fairly quiet at Abe’s since New Years, and I haven’t seen Jackson around much either. He texted me a couple of times to ask for advice on tutoring jobs, but other than that, it’s been mostly radio silence. I’ve chalked it up to the holiday break, but now that the new year is in full swing, I wonder where he’s been.

“Where’s your brother?” I ask Darius, tossing the towel in his direction. “Haven’t heard from him much.”

“He’s been busy. Trying to catch up on all the work he missed last semester. Plus, he’s working on this scholarship thing. I guess you got through to him, so, thanks.”

“No problem,” I reply.

“I just don’t want him to be crushed if we can’t figure out the money shit. College is expensive.”

He’s not wrong. I was lucky enough to get financial aid and scholarships, but I’m still paying off student loans. I guess it’s a good thing I don’t have to worry about those costs anymore, now that I’m done with school.

“I know,” I tell him. “But there are options.”

Darius hesitates. “He wants to apply to Columbia. My dad told him that was the dumbest thing he’s ever heard.”

“I went to Columbia.”

He raises his eyebrows at me, surprised. “Yet again… what the fuck are you doing working here?”

I chuckle, shaking my head. “Long story.”

He gestures around to the empty room. We closed up twenty minutes ago, pushing out the last stragglers who refused to move on. “I got time. Besides, all ever I do is talk about myself. I wanna get to know the guy I’m working side-by-side with every day.”

Taking in a deep breath, I lean against the bar and start talking. I tell Darius about Luke, about our adventures during undergrad and the two of us going to Columbia together. How we bonded over video games and a mutual love of Star Trek. How he fell in love, and it didn’t work out, and it sent him into a spiral that I didn’t notice. Darius listened to all of it thoughtfully, without interjecting with questions.

Then I tell him about Whitney, about how I needed a place to stay and she needed a roommate. My plan for the money. How slowly I stopped caring about my half-baked plan and focused more and more on the woman in my life. How she broke through my walls and became the best thing I have.

“So now, I’m in love with my wife, and I still haven’t told her. I’ve got all this money that I don’t know what to do with. I feel guilty as hell for even thinking about abandoning Luke’s quest and the promise that I made to him — to myself. But I just feel… I don’t know. I see Whitney and she’s so full of life, so full of dreams that she’s chasing, and it’s like she’s just glowing with it. I wish I could be more like that, but I still just feel so… lost.”

When I finish my monologuing, it’s quiet for a moment.

“Damn,” Darius says eventually, shaking his head. “That’s a lot.”

I bark out a weak laugh, nodding. “Yeah, it is.”

He shrugs. “You’ll get there. When you know, you know. Shit always works itself out.”

“Wow, you’re chock full of inspirational quotes. You an optimist, Darius?”

“You gotta be.”

We’re both quiet for a few minutes as I consider my situation. It’s time for a change. For something. I can feel it in my bones, in my chest, the desire for something new. Maybe it’s the new year that has me itching for an opportunity to start fresh. To figure out my path instead of just wandering around, waiting for something to happen. I’m not sure what it is yet, but Darius’ words ring through my mind, like a buoy to hold onto, something to keep me treading water as I navigate these changing tides.

When you know, you know.

The next day, I get back from the gym to find Whitney clad in an apron and fuzzy socks. The apartment is warm and inviting, a scented candle burning in the corner. It’s another frigid January day, and I’m starving, so the sight of my wife dancing around our cozy kitchen sends my mouth watering for more than one reason.

“Hey, baby,” I say, crossing towards her.

Say it.

I love you. I love you so much. Please be mine forever.

“Hi,” Whitney replies, her eyes filled with warmth.

---