Page 103 of Something Forever

“You could always change your mind about school. It’s never too late,” she argues.

Liam shakes his head, his expression resigned. “I don’t even think I’m that person anymore.”

My heart aches watching his chest rise and fall with ragged breaths, his walls lower than usual in the presence of his mother.

“It’s not just about Luke. It was at first. Just didn’t see the point in school anymore. Didn’t feel like going to class. Didn’t feel like doing anything. I realized that I was failing half my classes and it would be nearly impossible to catch up with all the sessions I’d missed. Then I just… shut down, I guess. Started working at the bar to fill my time with something. Everything was just… gray all the time. Just running on autopilot until…”

He trails off, his fingers reaching towards my hand. I don’t realize I’m crying until I feel a tear stroll down my cheek. I don’t wipe at it, not wanting to draw attention to myself. To hear him talk like this, to know that he’s been struggling so much and hasn’t talked to me about it…

He doesn’t trust you.

I hate myself for making this moment about me, for twisting his honesty into some fault against myself or some flaw in our relationship.

Fake relationship, you mean.

“Darling,” I hear Charlotte say. Glancing in her direction, I realize her eyes are coated with moisture, too. “You should have called me.”

Liam shrugs. “I’m figuring it out,” he says evasively. “It’s Christmas. We’re not supposed to talk about depressing shit.”

Charlotte shakes her head. “We’re supposed to talk about whatever we want to, and right now, your poor mother who never gets to see you anymore wants to talk about loss.”

“Mum,” he groans.

“You didn’t just lose Luke, Liam. You lost your dream. Your dream, love. Remember? I certainly do.” She smiles sadly. “You used to talk my ear off about whatever experiment you were working on, what paper you were writing. You loved it, and you were great at it.”

“Yeah,” he mutters, his hand finding mine. He presses his fingertips against mine, intertwining our hands without looking in my direction.

“What do you think, Whitney?” Caroline asks, looking at me curiously.

I swallow and my eyes flicker to Liam’s. This is new territory for us, and I’m not sure if he even wants to hear what I think about his life choices. It’s certainly not my place to pass judgement on them. He hasn’t spoken to me much about what his life was like before we met. I know that he was in graduate school and that he dropped out. That he’s focused on Luke’s project and trying to do a lot.

“I think… that sometimes we need time, and that’s okay. Sometimes just getting out of bed is enough, and everything else we can figure out as it comes…” I ramble on, unsure of what I want to say. “Liam is smart and brave, and he’s got an amazing heart, so if he needs to lock the door and throw away the key sometimes, I trust that he’s going to come back stronger than ever.”

Silence fills the room.

Charlotte lifts her glass, her smile deepening. “Cheers to that.”

When I finally work up the nerve to look at Liam, he’s staring at me as if he’s just remembered something or solved some puzzle he’s been stuck on for ages. He studies me with an intensity that sizzles through me.

Charlotte shifts, standing and brushing her skirt. “I’m going to help Simon,” she announces, then slips out of the room.

“Is that really what you think of me?” he finally asks, his voice low and controlled. “You think I’m brave?”

I swallow again, but nod. “Of course,” I whisper.

He brings a hand up to brush his thumb against my cheek, his intensity fading to a sweet softness as he presses his lips to the side of my neck. He places his hands on either side of my face and lowers his lips to mine. I feel him shake his head lightly.

“I’m not,” he admits, his breath playing against my face. “I’m terrified.”

I inhale a shaky breath, feeling the energy pulsing and shifting between us. Liam pulls back and meets my gaze again, his eyes filled with longing.

“This is real,” he murmurs. “It’s real, right?”

My stomach drops in one fell swoop. Swallowing, I take in everything about this moment. The low crackle of the fire, the sound of Christmas music floating softly from the kitchen, and Liam, his green eyes locked onto mine.

“It’s real,” I whisper.

Liam’s entire face lights up, a smile spreading across his face. He presses his lips to mine again and warmth spreads through my body, sending tingles down my spine. He nudges my shoulder, and that tiny motion makes me want to spill those three words more than I ever have before.

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