Page 84 of Lost in the Current of You

No matter how scared I was of feeling this much for someone, I trusted him. He had slowly, and all at once, gained my trust when he walked back into my life, and I knew he would never let me fall. The sneaking around and hiding in the shadows would disappear, and we would tell my brother and Liam, and all would be okay. If he felt the same way as I did - which I was sure he did - I knew we would be okay. So, I leaned into him and pushed aside the anxiety I felt just to be with him. Because it felt too right not to.

He walked me further into the house and kicked the door closed before his hands smoothed down the sides of my body to cup under my thighs, lifting me to him. My legs wrapped around his waist, and my hands dove into his hair as I consumed myself in all of him. It’s all I knew how to do. When he was this close, I couldn’t help but put him into the centre of my orbit. To have all my desires and whispered sighs answered by the dominant stroke of his tongue, and the exploration of his hands along my body and in my hair. He knew exactly where to touch me, where to kiss me, where to drag his tongue to get a reaction from me. To have me in a puddle in the palm of his hands.

He made his way up the stairs, never parting for my lips. His steps were sure like he knew every corner of this house as if it were his own. And I guess he’d been there enough times that he probably would.

He was so quick that in the blink of a moment, he had laid me flat on the edge of the bed as soon as he opened the door. He kissed a path down my neck as he stood in front of me, his body hovering over mine and sending sparks skittering across my skin with every brush of his lips and tongue over my skin. He was just as consumed as I was, and I basked in the admiration he praised into my skin.

He made quick work of my jean shorts and underwear. My eyes met his, and as a slow smirk transformed on his lips, he slowly lowered himself to the floor, kneeling in front of me.

I was way too pent up from the moment his lips met mine, and I ached for him, needing him more than I’d ever needed anyone. It was almost obsessive feeling this much for someone, needing them and wanting them to need me too.

His smile was like he read exactly what was playing through my mind, and so he put me out of my misery, lips punishing me as soon as they lowered to my core. It was torture and absolute bliss at the same time. With every kiss, lick, swirl, and suck, I fell harder and harder into the abyss.

The magic he spun between my thighs had me right at the edge in no time, and I was falling off the edge with wave after wave crashing into me.

He spent the next half an hour rocking me into another orgasm with slow and steady thrusts, his heavy-lidded and wild gaze never wavering from mine.

That bond that had tied us together over a year prior had only strengthened over time, and it only left me wanting more. I wanted to know more about him. I wanted to learn everything about him. I wanted him to see exactly what I saw. I wanted to talk to him about everything and anything under the moonlight.

And in his gaze, vulnerability showed and it was like he was showing me all that he could offer me. Devotion, desire, hope. It all wrapped into one, and it sunk deep into my heart, making the muscle swell with emotion.

It was a symphony of our moans, sighs, and groans echoing off the bedroom walls, and that, combined with the way he looked at me, had me crying out as pleasure overrode my entire being. He curled into me, his head tucked into my shoulder as he spilled his release, the condom confining each drop. With his chest on mine and our hearts beating in unison, all of him and all of me, I felt each part of us intertwined. It felt bright, and warm, and promising, like the golden daylight that I knew him to be.

But as I was drifting off in the peacefulness of his arms, he slowly peeled himself away from me, leaving me with a quick, feather-light kiss to my temple before he quietly made his way out of the house. My heart yearned for him to come back to where he belonged as I watched him jog down the street.

The sweet, gentle moment we had together, was ruined by the quick retreat he made in an effort to keep us secret.

And suddenly, through the rose-coloured glasses I had worn the past couple of days, sinking into the hopes and daydreams I held didn’t feel as good as I wished it would now that we were here.

33

Reece:

Be ready by 11 a.m. I’ve got a surprise for you.

That was the message I woke up to the next morning, and I spent a bit too long staring at it until my eyes blurred as I hesitated to reply.

The sun was burning bright through my window, casting heated air to swirl in the closed space of my room. I kicked off the light blanket I had draped over the top half of my body. I had forgotten to turn my air conditioner on that night, and I was paying the price this morning as sweat clung and dried on my body.

Summer was always a nightmare, with the unbearable heat and no air conditioning in my room apart from the dingy Kmart one that I’d fill with ice water to blow a chilled breeze. It was tiring and a bit expensive to always buy ice for it.

After yesterday afternoon, my body ached, and I was exhausted. I went to bed straight after dinner around seven p.m., and crashed right as my head hit the pillow, and forgot all about the air conditioner.

It was already about nine a.m., so I ran a shower, rinsing off the heat before wrapping a towel around my body. I flicked through my cupboard of what to wear while I enjoyed the relief of the cool air from the air conditioner. I grabbed the hanger with my new favourite sundress, blue with little white flowers printed on it, and hung it on the front of the door while I relaxed in bed until it was closer to eleven.

I needed to talk to him. I needed to know what we were doing and if we were on the same page. I couldn’t keep hiding it all anymore. Every time I saw him, I felt whole again, like a piece of my soul returning to me. Every look he gave me had a million tiny sparks skittering along my skin. Every kiss felt like it connected straight to my heart, allowing it to beat a perfect symphony just for him.

But no matter how good that feeling felt, it scared the hell out of me. I was so afraid to lose him. I was afraid that all of this would fall away and I would lose his friendship again. I wanted him, but his friendship meant so much more to me. I couldn’t live without him in my life. This thing between us was so much more than it was a year ago and it would break me if all of it was lost.

The summer break was coming to an end, and the first baseball game back was tomorrow. I felt like the little bubble we had been enclosed in the past few weeks was one tragedy away from bursting. All of the secret meet-ups and the kisses behind closed doors I knew wouldn’t last forever, but I hoped for more. We hadn’t even talked about what we were doing. It’s just that whenever we were together, we couldn’t escape the magnetising pull we had on each other and the way it felt when we collided. His kiss was intoxicating, his smile had me wanting to pull more out of him, and his embrace was the most comforting thing I’d experienced. I could list so many things about him that I loved. And that was the scary thing.

The fact that I loved so much about him, but couldn’t do a thing about it because of that fear was frustrating. Because of this overwhelming vulnerability I had been taught not to show. Because what if he didn’t feel the same? What if this was still all physical to him? Because of my brother, because of Liam, the betrayal I had committed.

It hurt too much to be this scared of something that felt so good, so natural.

I swallowed the bile forming in my throat and got ready. I was going to enjoy whatever Reece had planned because if this wasn’t going to be the last, I wanted to enjoy every moment I could with him. And I would shove the blooming feelings into the darkest corner of my heart and ignore them for as long as I could.

His car horn sounded from the driveway, and I quickly climbed downstairs after hooking my camera strap around my neck and locking the front door behind me. His eyes locked on mine through the window, and they followed me the whole way until I opened the passenger door to his car.

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