Page 73 of Lost in the Current of You

I shook my head and laughed to myself, letting my fears talk for me before I could process things. “You know, if you don’t want people to even know that we’re friends, then maybe we shouldn’t be anything.”

I got out of the car and slammed the door behind me with my name echoing off his lips.

He drove off as soon as I got to the door at the exact time Nate opened the door. He saw a glimpse of Reece’s car as it drove in the distance and questioned me if that was him. I panicked then, wanting to admit it while my frustration was still freshly simmering but at the same time not wanting to be irrational. I denied it, saying I wasn’t sure and that I was just dropped off by Avery’s Mum. There was a bitter taste in my mouth as the lie slipped out and I avoided looking at him as I slipped inside the house and retreated to my room.

I wasn’t sure if I should show up to Reece’s party after that. My heart was still raw from the confusing state Reece was leaving it in. But I did, still wanting to support him because I knew this day was more sad than happy for him.

By the time I arrived, the party was in full swing, with Nate following close behind and Avery and Alex’s arms hooked in each of mine. The music was booming through the open windows as we walked up the long, steep driveway towards the tall Colorbond fence that led to the large, open backyard.

There were a lot of people I didn’t know since Reece went to a different school, but I noticed a few of the baseball players lingering about once we stepped through the gate. Nate gravitated towards them, greeting them in handshakes and leaving us alone

Avery, Alex, and I wandered our way through the backyard, searching for familiar faces.

I found Reece not long after, though his conversation with Jake looked tense and my steps slowed as we made our way carefully towards them. Reece spared me a short glance, a frown in place before he spoke a few clipped words to Jake before stalking off into the house.

My stomach dropped, and I started to question why I was really there. Then Jake turned towards us, a smile stretching across his face that I could tell was forced.

“You guys made it. Shall I show you around? Introduce you to some people?”

I frowned, my gaze trailing off toward where Reece disappeared. “Should that not be the role of the actual host of the house?”

He scratched his jaw as his gaze wandered to anywhere that wasn’t me. “Ah, that is true. That particular host however is currently out of commission.”

His eyes finally met mine as he spoke the last word and I could see a flash of worry in them. But he shook his head subtly before pasting the smile back on his face and clapping his hands together. “Come, let’s go.”

I didn’t see Reece most of the night. I wandered around, chatting to random people whose names I immediately forgot, and sipped slowly on the drinks Jake offered us.

It felt like I came for nothing. I was surrounded by people I didn’t know apart from Avery and Alex and I felt so out of place.

I wanted to search for him to see if he was okay because I knew today was a day filled with mixed emotions for him. I wanted to find him, crawl in next to him, and hold him so he knew he wasn’t alone. Maybe I didn’t deserve to be that person for him after today, but I wanted to know he wasn’t alone.

I realised in my time getting ready that I’d been so irrational and overreacted when my mind had told me he didn’t want me like I wanted him. I should have looked at him, like really looked at him, and saw the sadness reflecting in his eyes.

I almost wanted to leave but Jake called everyone to gather around the patio table while someone brought out a cake. Someone shouted for someone to get Reece outside so we could sing to him.

About five minutes later, my heart sank as I watched him stumble out the sliding doors with a bottle of Jameson in hand, hair dishevelled, and eyes bloodshot. But that was the only tell I knew that he was crying just moments before because otherwise he had a smile on his face and his eyes were glazed over in a drunken daze.

“Oh, good,” he slurred with a hiccup. “I’m not late for the cake.”

He stumbled over to where Nate and Jake stood in front of the cake with the candles now burning bright. The two boys held him up on each side.

“Come on, let’s sing me a happy birthday and get it over with. God knows there’s nothing happy about it.”

Nate bent down to whisper in his ear while everyone started to sing, drowning out their hushed words. I didn’t join in though, my focus was too intent on the two boys.

Reece’s gaze lazily dragged over everyone before they stopped on mine. It was like for a moment the world stopped and the people around us who started to sing Happy Birthday turned to a distant whisper. I saw the realisation drain his face while a glimmer of his grief peeked through his facade. This act and the drinking were all to hide the fact that he was truly drowning.

I blinked back into the present and Reece’s friends were clapping and cheering before Reece bent down to blow the candles out.

Someone yelled from the back. “Don’t forget your wish and make it a good one.”

Everyone cheered in agreement, and I watched as Reece squeezed his eyes shut before he opened them to land on me as he blew the candles out, standing to his full height, while remaining eye contact with me. I mouthed ‘Happy Birthday’ to him, and his lips twitched in a secret smile.

Then he looked to his friends and shouted, “Drink up.” He raised the Jameson bottle in the air before he took a few gulps from it and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “You never know when will be your last. ‘Cause the universe is cruel like that.” He hiccuped. “Rips all the good people off the Earth before they even have a chance to live.”

He wobbled a step and then my legs were carrying themselves towards him before I rested a hand on his shoulder. “I think the party is over for you.”

He pouted. “No,” he drew the word out. “We were just getting started.”

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