Page 64 of Lost in the Current of You

He nodded and looked away as he sniffed. “We can still be friends though, right?”

I swallowed. “If that’s what you want, I’m happy with that.”

He chuckled. “Well, I’m sure I’ll see you around at baseball games sometime while Nate is here.”

I smiled. “Yeah, you will.”

We didn’t talk much after that and hung up shortly after.

If that talk had happened a few weeks ago when I showed up to their game after Airlie Beach, I’m sure I would have felt lighter that we had cleared the air. But I just felt more weight pressing down on my heart with guilt for the secrets I held in the dark.

25

New Year's Eve was always an exciting time in our household.

Dad went all out with decorations and food. He pretty much invited the whole neighbourhood, as well as his, mine, and Nate's friends, to bring in the new year. Nate usually brought his gaming console down to the lounge, and they all glued themselves to the screen until the countdown. Avery, Alex, and I usually watched and took turns before we snuck out to watch the fireworks by the river.

This year, though, we opted out of our usual tradition, instead choosing to stay at the party when we saw the rain forecast.

Nate’s friends came over early while I was helping Dad with the decorations. I had been on the ladder hanging the ‘Happy New Year’ banner above the stairs when they all started shuffling through the door, heading straight to the couch. Some of them I recognised from the baseball team and some I knew as Nate’s old school friends.

My eyes immediately locked on Reece as I looked over my shoulder. He paused in the doorway in the middle of kicking his shoes off, eyes already on me. His mouth quirked up into a hint of a smile, one just for me, and I beamed under his attention. He took a step towards me after kicking off his other shoe, but then one of the boys wrapped an arm around his shoulders and told him to hurry up, before guiding him toward the couch. He shot me an apologetic look over his shoulder before his friends wrapped him up in conversation.

I was too engrossed in setting up decorations, so it wasn’t until later in the evening that I saw him.

I was setting the New Years themed paper plates on the table in the kitchen when Reece sidled up beside me, plucking a plate from the pile and looking over the food lined up.

“Need any help?” he asked, his gaze shifting from the food to me.

I looked up at him, noticing how close he stood to me. So close that my arm brushed his as I turned to him.

I hummed. “You could actually,” I paused to collect the bag next to the dining table and held it out for him. “You could hand out these to your friends.”

I pressed my lips into a thin line to suppress the twitch in them as I pulled out one of the black and silver sparkly party hats that said ‘Happy New Year’ on them. I placed one on his head and secured the string under his chin before he could pull away.

His lips fell and he shot me a deadpanned look. “Really?”

I grinned. “Get into the celebrating mood, Reece. It’s coming up to the new year. It’s meant to be exciting.”

His lips twitched a little as he pulled out one of the party hats in the bag to inspect it. “To be honest, I’ve never been excited for New Year’s.”

I tilted my head as I stared at him, his eyes downcasted to the hat in his hands. “Why?”

He doesn’t look at me and I can’t tell the expression in his eyes, but I noticed his lips turn down. I reached out to touch his wrist, skimming my thumb across his skin, a show to tell him I was here for him.

His breath was nothing but a hoarse whisper, clogged with memories and grief. “The beginning of the year is always hard. And especially my birthday. It’s just another reminder of my mother.”

My breath hitched. He never brought up his mother. I didn’t know a single thing about her. All I knew was she wasn’t around. My hand tightened around his wrist.

“What happened?” I said quietly.

He didn’t say anything for a moment, but the hand opposite to the one I was holding wrapped around my wrist as if to gain some semblance of strength. As if I was the one holding him strong.

His voice came out strangled, holding onto his emotions tightly. “She died. Because of me.”

My stomach sank, sorrow punching me deep in the gut as he stood there with his eyes still downcast as he delivered the news.

I reached up to his face, but he stepped back, his eyes finally flicking up to mine. They swirled with every type of emotion before he blinked and his carefully laid mask slipped back into place.

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