Page 24 of Lost in the Current of You

She harrumphed. “Well, now that I’ve finally got a hold of you, we can organise a time to meet for lunch to discuss your future.”

I groan. “Mum?—”

“No. This is what we agreed on. We’re doing this now.”

I sighed, relenting because it was what we agreed, and it would be less painful to not fight it. “When are you available next?” The sooner the better, I thought, but I knew better than to organise off my schedule. Anything planned would go her way anyway. And, as she reminded me often, her work life was more important than my social one.

“How about two weeks from now? The 7th of December. I have a big case at the moment, but everything should be over by then.”

I closed my eyes. Two weeks of waiting. I guessed it would give me enough time to prepare and conjure up some type of plan we would both be satisfied with instead of being forced into following in her footsteps and being a lawyer. Not that it’s boring; it just wasn’t for me. I would hate every moment of it.

It was also four days before my birthday, but I doubt she would even remember when the day came.

“Sure. That works.”

“Good. I’ll book a restaurant, and I’ll let you know.” And then, she hung up. No goodbye. Nothing.

It didn’t surprise me, really.

Nate side-eyed me again, watching me as I leaned my head back against the seat.

He knew how it felt. Our mother didn’t even send him off when he left for Townsville after he graduated high school. She hardly ever called him, only a few texts a year. She didn’t have to worry about him since he was doing something with his life.

But, for me, she was on my back about jobs, degrees, five-year plans, and setting myself up for the future. All it did was make me anxious because I didn’t know the answer to any of it.

I just want some peace and a little bit of freedom with no more studying or homework. Like, weren’t gap years still a thing?

I felt like I couldn’t see past a week in advance. I couldn’t picture what I would be doing five years from now. What passions would thrive from me. Where I would be in the world. What my ideal life would look like. And I liked it like that. I liked living in the moment and enjoying what came.

But I had to entertain my mother. I had to keep her pleased because no matter how she treated me, I never wanted her to be disappointed in me. To be the disappointment she wished she never had.

That is the side Nate never saw. The disappointment of our mother when she realised I didn’t have a plan. Because even though Nate was pushed into following her and studying law, he seemed to like it. It was easy for him when it came to deciding his future. Law was suggested, and he took it and that was it. It fit him.

But with me, it wasn’t that easy. I didn’t want to be stuck behind a desk day in and day out, staring at a screen, studying and researching, I had enough of that in high school. I was over it halfway through year eight when high school had barely begun. I can’t do that for another four years and then beyond that. That was a terrifying thought for me.

“What if I don’t have a passion, Nate? I’m going to die miserable at this point,” I finally spoke in the quiet of the ute halfway home.

“You will find it, Dakota. You just have to find middle ground with Mum. Choose something you’re both happy with and once you get to Uni, you can explore all you like.”

I sighed. He had a good point, but the thought of university freaked me out.

“What if university isn’t for me?”

He glanced at me, noting the overwhelmed look on my face, and he smiled sadly. “It’s not meant for everyone.” He shrugged. “But just don’t tell Mum that. She’ll freak.”

We laughed, but sadly, it was the truth. Mum believed any good job resulted in a good education, which meant getting a tertiary degree right out of high school.

Ten minutes later, Nate pulled the car behind Dad’s and I frowned. It confused me because I thought he was busy and that’s why Nate had to pick me up.

I saw the smile Nate tried to suppress as I looked over at him, and I narrowed my eyes.

He shrugged. “Don’t be so surprised by any of this. You know how Dad is.”

But, of course, I was surprised when I opened the door a few minutes later to a banner saying ‘Welcome Home, Dakota’ hanging in the hallway leading to the kitchen, and three blue balloons of different shades tied to each side.

My growing smile almost cracked my face when I lugged my suitcase towards the kitchen, seeing Dad bent over the stove and stirring whatever he was cooking. I knew instantly what he had made by the smell wafting through the room.

The noise of my suitcase rolling through the kitchen made him turn around, spoon in hand, dressed in an apron. He smiled, spreading his arms wide, anticipating my hug. I immediately threw my arms around him.

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