Page 78 of Lost in the Current of You

Avery smiled and they both wrapped their arms around me.

“Yeah, we love you too,” they murmured.

Avery pulled back and looked up at me, searching my eyes as if knowing there was more. “That wasn’t all, was it? What else has been happening?”

As I was about to answer, someone called my name, and I turned to see Liam and Reece standing behind us. It was such a surprise to see them together, like a collision of my worlds, making me have flashbacks to the beginning of last year. It was like a reality slap to the face.

Liam smiled, but I avoided eye contact with Reece, afraid of what I would see. After his birthday, he didn’t try to contact me. I didn’t try to reach out either because the boy I saw that night was nothing I thought I knew. I got that he was in a vulnerable place, but it was like he was bound to self-destruct everything around him with the unfiltered words he blurted.

“Hey, how are you? Nice to see you again, Avery and Alex,” Liam greeted.

Their returned greetings were muffled in my mind as I chanced a glance at Reece, meeting his pleading eyes for a split second and almost fell for the pull of his orbit, tugging me to him like an invisible rope tying me to him. But I tore my eyes away from him, cutting the tie as I focused back on Liam’s expectant gaze.

I pressed my lips together in a smile and tried to think of the question he had asked.

“Yeah, I’m good. Just shopping for new clothes. How are you?”

“Yeah, the same. I’m actually going on a date tonight, so I need something new to wear,” he answered, a shy tint shading his cheeks.

“That’s amazing. I hope you have a good time.”

His lips curved and then hesitated before he shook his head and met my eyes. “Hey, can I ask you something? In private?”

“Of course. Anything.” It’s the least I could do.

He pulled me a few steps away, out of hearing range from our friends. Just for him to whisper his question.

“I just wanted to ask, and I know we talked a little about it on the phone the other week, but what was it that made you break up with me? If you could pinpoint one thing that is, was there something I did that turned you off? You can be brutally honest with me. I just don’t want to make that mistake again because I really like this girl.”

That question made me pause with a swallow.

It was easier to tell him with a screen between us but now, face to face, with every fibre of my being aware of Reece standing mere feet from me, the heat of his gaze burning straight through my temple, I didn’t know how to answer that question. It was awkward, and I felt like I couldn’t escape the question without giving him a real answer. Or as close as I could.

I glanced at Reece, his curious gaze tracing over the features of my face as I did, and the only thought that shouted in my mind was him.

He was the reason, but I could never admit that.

So I looked at Liam again and sighed. “I was suffocating, Liam. And that’s not on you. It’s just the more you held on, the more I felt myself pulling away. It felt like you were rushing things between us, and it made me want to jump out of my skin.” I chewed on my lip as I watched his reaction, the slow fall of his mouth into a frown. I backtracked. “But, some people might like that. I just… it scares me. And I was scared of being alone. I didn’t want to hurt you, but I didn’t know how to tell you that I wasn’t the one for you. We never really fit together.”

He nodded, jaw clenching as he absorbed my words. “Right. I get it.”

My lips lifted a little in an awkward sort of smile, trying to offer him some comfort by it. “I hope you have fun on your date. I better get back to my friends.”

“Yeah, of course. Thank you,” he muttered, before I left him.

I breezed past Reece, I felt his pinky skim alongside mine that was gone the next moment. I peeked over my shoulder just to see him do the same, our eyes connecting for a second before both he and Liam disappeared behind the corner. Even just the smallest of touches from him could spread warmth through my body, and in the awkwardness of that conversation, I needed it.

Avery and Alex shot wide-eyed looks at me as we continued on with our shopping, letting me know that they felt how awkward that whole encounter was for, not only me, but to them even a few feet away. I filled them in on the Facetime call I had with Liam two weeks ago. They grilled me on whether anything was going on with Reece and me, but somehow, I changed the subject away from it, refusing to voice anything. I told them I wanted to go try on my clothes and would text them if I needed help while they continued to browse for themselves.

It was so stupid to be scared of a simple conversation, but at this point, it was like if I spoke it, it would disappear like it was all my imagination. That’s what my mind had made up anyway. It was like my subconscious could hear the faraway echoes of a ticking time bomb gradually coming closer. It put me on edge.

I texted Avery a short while into trying on clothes though, fighting for my life to reach the small zip at the back of the A-line blue summer dress I was trying on with small flowers on it. I heard a knock on the fitting room door I was in and I didn’t think, I started talking before I even opened the door.

“Oh, thank god, Ave, I need your help with the zip. And then tell me what you think. I really like it, but I don’t know if it suits me.”

But, when I opened the door, Reece stood there instead of Avery and he was stepping into the dressing room before I could think and shutting the door behind him. I stumbled back a step, holding the back of my dress as I stared at him wide-eyed.

His gaze slid down my frame in a slow sweep, once again warming me without even touching me this time, and it was almost addicting.

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