Page 69 of Playing My Rivals

Me: Thanks. Your thoughtfulness is something I’m forever grateful for. My brother’s the same, but the nurse told me his first set of tests looked promising. I’m going to focus on that and keep my hopes up.

I send out the text and sit in silence as the rain falls, making puddles on Aiden’s patio. It’s fall now, which is usually my favorite season.

What season are Hunter and I in?

We started our relationship at the beginning of summer, the weekend after my birthday.

Where are we now?

If cycles are any indication, I’d say we’re in our own fall, but this one is far from my preference. Him reaching out is a sign he’s willing to repair what we have, but I’m not ready for that.

What will winter be like for us?

Will it be better or worse?

Therapy has been helping me recognize Hunter may not be the one I really want. And this time with Jami has me questioning that even more.

When my therapist asks me about Hunter and Jami, I always end the discussion with the fact that Jami has a huge part of my heart and my feelings for him are beyond friendship.

Hunter means a lot to me too, but I don’t see how we can get around my job. If we could explore a normal relationship, I might feel differently. But even with that, all her questions lead me right back to Jamison.

Therapy has made me realize I have deep feelings for him and always have. I still need to sort out so much and I don’t have the energy to think about it right now.

The pipes in Aiden’s house are older and knock as the water from Jamison’s shower trickles through them. The moment they still, I’m pulled back into the current situation with Aiden.

Tears fill my eyes and I’m grateful it’s my turn to bathe. Maybe I can wash all these heavy emotions down the drain.

My skin tingles as I descend into the exact soaking tub I told Jami I wanted to be in. Cold skin against 104-degree water always causes this prickly sensation.

With the crisp cold mountain air and the rain, steam rises off the hot pool even in the daylight. I disappear into the cloud that sits right above the water.

I wade over to the man-made everlasting ledge overlooking the Colorado River and rest against it. Hopefully, the heat will soothe the knots in my back and shoulders.

Jami joins me at the pool and hands me one of the facility’s fancy cocktails. “It’s a Pineapple Passion Rum Punch.”

“Enough sugar in it for an entire year.” I take it and toast it to him. “Exactly what the doctor ordered.”

I take a sip and continue resting over the ledge of the soaking tub. Jamison drinks some of his punch and then places it on the side of the pool.

I turn away to take in the view of the Colorado River. I take a quick glance back as he tosses a towel that’s been slung over his chest onto a chair.

He rubs his heart and sinks into the hot springs until only his head is above the water. “It’s nice it’s raining today.”

“Why is that?” I move to the center of the tub to face him.

“Because it’s keeping the crowds away. We practically have the place to ourselves.” He glances at the other hot spring pools scattered around the grounds.

My eyes track to follow his. “I didn’t notice, but you’re right. The hot tub we’re in is usually hard to get into because so many people are in it.”

“It’s Monday, though, so that could be another reason.” His gaze moves back to me. “You’ve been quiet. You know I’m here for you, right?”

I nod. “Yeah. I’m just worried and my mind is all over the place.”

“Speaking of Mondays, I let Jonah know I’m taking a personal week. He doesn’t know I’m here. He doesn’t know anything, as far as I can tell.”

Why he reached out to Jonah and not Hunter isn’t lost on me.

Another wall of guilt slams into my chest. “Jami, I haven’t apologized to you for getting us into the mess?—”

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