Page 40 of Playing My Rivals

“Yes, and I see you have noticed. How long do you think he’s been going with her?” I pick up a pen and fiddle with it between my fingers.

“When I was researching the company, I followed it back for about a year. My first thought was they were dating. When Hunter and I started hanging out, it was clear if they were dating, she was far from the only one.” Jami watches me carefully like he’s worried about telling me that.

My eyebrows bunch together as my suspicions rise. “You know, you’ve hinted about making sure I am the only one in Hunter’s life. Is there something I need to know?”

“Nothing I’d stake my life on.” He avoids meeting my eyes by casting his gaze on the floor.

That’s not very convincing, but Jamison won’t spread false rumors. That’s all I’ll get from him. I stare at him and think about how I’ve been treating him.

My heart deflates for the millionth time. “Jami, I know things have been strained with us and I’m sorry.”

He meets my gaze. “In my eyes, things are never that way with us. If you’re feeling that, trust it’s not me who put that energy out there. I only want you happy and safe.”

“Well, I feel the strain.” I put the pen down and push back in my chair.

He flashes a gentle smile. “I wish I could help you with that.”

Fuck my guilt.

I hesitate but then put myself out there. My therapist would be proud. She’s encouraged me to consider what a life with Jami would be like versus what one would be like with Hunter, so here I am, ready to explore.

I want to see what Jamison’s life entails, so my eyes light up with hope. “You can.”

“How?”

“Take me to meet your friend. The one you wanted me to meet.”

Jami’s back straightens. “Why?”

His confusion is clear. But God, I want this. I need the clarity. My repressed longing for Jami is getting challenging to contain.

“Because he means something to you, and I want to feel that.” I place my hand on my heart.

“Feel what?”

I swivel in my chair as I take a moment and dive into my emotions. I want to figure out why I can’t let Jami go and move on fully with Hunter. The only thing that comes to mind is how I always feel around Jami.

I lean closer to him. “Like someone would welcome me into something so meaningful just because they want to share that part of themselves with me. The feeling like someone is solid enough to hold me up and let me figure things out on my own, no matter how many wrong turns I make. I just want to feel like myself again.”

“I didn’t know you were feeling like that. Aside from last Friday’s episode between you and the person we’re not naming, you always appear to me like you’re living your best life.”

“I live a good life. There’s just something missing and I want to experience it again.”

“In that case, I’m going to visit Chuck on Sunday. Do you want to go with me?” Jami shifts as if he doesn’t trust himself with that decision.

He pushes off his chair. His cheeks are pink, and he’s breathing heavier. My stomach does a cartwheel.

I raise to my feet to keep eye contact, trying to ease his discomfort with a soft smile. “I’d love to. What time?”

“Is ten in the morning okay?”

“It is.”

“One last thing. You don’t know this, but since my accident, I can’t drive with anyone in my car for a longer distance. Short distances are fine, but longer ones aren’t, so you’ll have to drive. We can take my car, but you’ll be in the driver's seat.” His face turns a shade of red.

My heart cracks and cries for him. “Of course. I’d be happy to drive your car.”

I shouldn’t be spending time with Jami, but I've had the urge to come here ever since he told me he wanted me to meet his friend. It ramped up when I heard Jami talking on the phone with him. There was something tender about it.

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