Page 131 of Playing My Rivals

“All the difference. If you’re pregnant, you need to get on prenatal vitamins. You need to be monitored closely. You have a history that makes you high risk. You’re having pains.”

Just saying this out loud has me wanting to carry her out the door and to the hospital.

Her eyes glare my way. “I know that Jami, but you’re making a huge assumption.”

“I’m not making any assumptions. That’s why I brought you the test. We need to know.”

“What makes you think I would need all those things if I’m pregnant?” Her expression gives me warning.

I shake my head, lost by what she’s trying to tell me. “We just went over that. You’re high risk.”

She bites down on her lip and lowers her head. Her shoulders sag and she starts crying. My stomach bottoms out.

Fuck.

She wouldn’t.

“Dori, are you trying to tell me it won’t matter what the results of this test are?”

I swallow my anxiety. I’ll be devastated if she says yes. It’s something I didn’t consider. If she’s pregnant, she doesn’t have to carry it to term and I lose my child. That fact hits me hard.

My throat closes and I can’t breathe. My sight goes hazy and I start to lose my balance. I find a chair and sit so I don’t fall over.

“Jami, are you okay?” She studies me with concern swirling in her eyes.

“I don’t know. You tell me. What did you mean by saying I was making a huge assumption?”

“Jami, I’ve been down this road before. I can’t do it again.” She slumps down on her couch. The bag falls into her lap and she sobs into her hands.

It takes me a minute to find the words. It's like she has a dull knife and is slowly cutting out my heart. I’ve already lost her and now she’s willing to prevent me from having my child. I’m empty, void of anything but disbelief and hopelessness.

I bend over my legs and stare at her, praying I’m misunderstanding. “What road have you been down before? Because I need to make sure we’re on the same page.”

“I’ve had an unwanted pregnancy before. I know what happens. It’s not something I want to go through again.” She grabs a tissue off her coffee table and wipes her nose.

“I get that it’s unplanned, but that doesn’t mean it’s unwanted. At least not for me.”

I hope she can see how serious I am. Sharing a child with her would be a dream come true. Since I first suspected she was pregnant, I’ve been envisioning us together and raising our baby. We could find a way to make it work between us if we tried hard enough.

I’ve tried to bury the thoughts, but they’ve made their way into my psyche. I dream about it every night and I’m ready to tell her just how much I want this.

She sits straight and shakes her head. Her eyes swim in confusion. “What are you saying?”

“I’m telling you I want it. I’ll raise this baby myself if I have to.”

My losses press on my mind. I want a child of my own so much. It’s all that I’ve been able to think about since I learned there’s a chance she’s pregnant.

“But what about the nine months it takes to get there? That lands on me, not you.” She wipes away another tear. “A lot can happen in nine months. You could fall in love and where does that leave me?”

I run my hands over my face, trying to hide my frustration. I roll in a gust of air and try again.

“You’re out of your mind if you think I wouldn’t be beside you, helping and caring for you. You couldn’t keep me away.” I sit up and soften my gaze. “I would be with you from start to finish.”

“How would I know that for sure? We're not even together.” Her head falls forward. “We shared one night and I’m supposed to believe you would change your entire life.”

It hits me. This isn’t about her not wanting the baby. She’s afraid she’ll end up alone. My blood ignites with a new hope. I rush to her side.

“Dori, look at me.” I lift her chin with my fingertips.

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