Page 108 of Playing My Rivals

“You know I do.” She says it just as I knew she would.

Oh, but it gets worse. Getting the worst case of road rash over a salted terrain would be better.

“Let me hear you say it, beauty. I need the words to make it through this.”

“I love you, Hunter.” She doesn’t even hesitate. I can even hear her sincerity.

Think that’s bad? It’s just the tip of my heart being put through a meat grinder.

They share a kiss—loud, long, hard, and sloppy wet.

Shredded. Absolutely pulverized.

“That kiss tells me you love me.” He pauses. I think he kisses her again. “Tell me you didn’t kiss him like this.”

I know what he’s getting at and so does she.

“No. Not even close.” She blasts a fan on the shredded blanket threads and they blow away into the ether, never to be seen again.

Hearing her say “I love you” to Hunter is enough to do me in. Add that she confirms they share something deeper than we do and it puts me in my grave.

All the years and memories we share mean nothing to her. I have no chance of a future with her and it guts me to the core.

I love her with all my soul, but it’s never going to be returned. I’m always going to be her backup plan. My body goes numb and waits for my reprieve.

I zone out for the rest of the Dori and Hunter show. But Melanie squeezes my leg every few minutes when there’s a cliffhanger. I get pulled back into it every now and then when a sliver of hope sneaks in.

Each time, it gets hacked away with a reference to how great their love is and how they can conquer anything put in their way. When I can’t handle it anymore, I take an extended commercial break. When it’s over, I let the credits roll and leave.

I glance at Dori once on the way to the door as I consider giving her a standing ovation. It doesn’t appear she wants one. She’s huddled in a corner, hugging her knees. Her face is hidden in her hands. Definitely so she doesn’t have to make eye contact with me.

Oh, too bad. I was about to give her an Oscar. Although not for tonight. No, the Oscar award she deserves is from that night she shared with me.

It’s been two weeks of hell since that night. I thought my life was complicated before. Now I wish I could go back to that time.

My musty, dingy office in the very back corner on the floor below the executives was the first punishment I got because of my week away. I’ve lost count of how many more I’ve received since then. I’m just grateful I still have a contract. Hell, I’m thankful to be alive.

Our disastrous meeting for the second phase of the launch should have me buried in team meetings. Instead, I replay everything in my mind to see if there’s somewhere I could’ve changed the outcome of the conversation between Dori and Hunter.

Nothing surfaces, so I do my best to avoid her, refusing her calls and erasing her messages without listening to them. We work in the conference room with Hunter supervising every session.

He knows her mistakes caused the second phase of the launch to go so poorly. Anyone with eyes can see she’s dropping the ball.

She’s lost weight and shows up to work with dark circles under her eyes. It keeps me awake at night, but I heard it with my own ears. She picked Hunter. She loves him. She loves him more than me and it’s annihilated me.

I rub my aching chest, then my eyes with my fists and try to focus on work.

“Why do you do that all the time?” Melanie pops into my office and hoists herself on top of my desk.

I move my laptop over so she can have more room. “What?”

“You rub your chest a lot. Why? You’re too young to have heart problems.” She reclines, resting on her hand.

She should probably just lie down because she’d be more comfortable.

“The only heart problems I have aren’t because of any medical issues. As far as why I rub my chest, I never knew I did it so often.” The tattoo over my heart comes to mind, but I shake the thought loose.

That pain will never disappear and I’m not sharing it with anyone. I thought I would eventually with Dori, but that hope was torn away.

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