Page 56 of Claiming Charlotte

My cheeks heated when he threw the ring to the floor, and I hoped he’d come back. Raising my head, I let my eyes scan the door for any sign of it opening, but it was just a terrible reminder that he was hurting too, and once again I had to sabotage in fear of getting hurt. He hadn’t been himself either, though at least I could say he wasn’t any worse.

The realization came to me that I’d cut him deep. We’d fought so hard to get to where we were, and I wasn’t ready to give that up.

“Rowan!” I yelled, following him out the door.

He was already on his way out the door when I caught up to him. “Rowan,” I said. “Wait.”

But he ignored me. Strapped his helmet on and straddled his motorcycle.

“Fine! Leave me like you always do!” I said shakily as tears poured from my eyes. “I did it for five years Rowan! I can do it again!” I screamed.

He peeled off as I stood in the driveway, and my heart pounded as I realized I’d lost him. Raindrops began pelting me with their wetness, and I stood stock still as the downpour began, unwilling to escape from the hell I’d created as Roe’s form became a spec on the horizon.

I held the ring in my hand, turning it over and over, wondering how I got in the position I was in as I faced the bookshelf behind my desk. The door of my study opened and closed, a muffled sound amid my racing thoughts.

“Charlotte?” I heard, and I turned to face the speaker.

It was Arthur, and he had a worried look pasted to his face. I smiled at him. “Yes?”

“Are you alright?” he asked, taking a step closer and glancing at the ring in my hand.

I looked down at it again, knitting my eyebrows together. “He left, Arthur. And it’s all my fault,” I said, my words monotone.

He didn’t respond at first, and I watched from the corner of my eye as he sat down in one of the armchairs and folded his hands in his lap. I looked at him, my eyes felt puffy and stiff. I knew he was inexperienced in relationships; he’d barely had one that lasted. But he was good at listening and that was all that mattered. I’d always been close with Arthur and all the fighting that had been going on was weighing on me.

“I’ve been pushing him away. I feel like every time he looks at me, it’s a painful reminder of his greatest failure.” I said, fresh tears welling up.

Arthur leaned forward and caught my eye. “You know that's not true, you have that man whipped; always have. He will come back, Charlotte. You know he always does. Just breathe, okay?”

“Yeah, but then in a few months who’s to say this won’t happen again. What should I do?” I countered.

“Honestly, Thomas would know better than me. He’s closer to Rowan than I am. Also, Thomas and his wife have had quite a few rough patches.” Arthur laughed. “During one of them, Thomas thought she was cheating on him with me, of all people.”

I laughed at the humor behind his words. I knew Arthur, and that accusation was just not him. “I’m sorry for bringing you into this, Arthur. I just needed someone to talk to who isn’t Roe,” I said, sitting at my desk.

“It’s alright. Although, I might have to start charging you. I was only coming in to give you an update,” he said, and continued before I could say anything. “Brain was able to hack and take down multiple sites that included your videos. We’re ready to go in and infiltrate. It will be tough, but I’m working on a plan for me and my guys.”

“That’s great, Arthur,” I said, sitting up in my chair.

“I was going to wait until their next charity event because they have their auctions around the same time. Thomas will distract Joshua and keep him busy as long as possible while my men infiltrate the auction,” he finished.

“That sounds exciting,” I said, grinning. “And I like it. Go ahead with your plans. I've reached out to a few connections to place them somewhere safe and secure. I'll send you the contact information.”

“Thank you,” Arthur said, rising and walking briskly out the door.

I sighed and slouched in my chair. My mind didn’t feel any clearer than it had before talking to Arthur, and I knew I’d have to figure it out on my own. I opened my drawer to grab the keys to the safehouse when I noticed a letter tucked between some files. Curiously I picked it up, turning it from side to side, it was addressed to me in fancy handwriting. Having free time, I carefully opened the cream-colored envelope and my eyes glazed over with fresh tears. It was from my dad.

My sweetest Lottie,

If you are reading this it means I am no longer around, and for that I am so sorry. I never wanted this life for you, and sometimes I wished that I had someone else to hand off things to so you could live your life the way you wanted.

I am so grateful to have been your father and need you to know that while I loved you deeply, your father is far from a saint.

While deployed and in captivity, I was made to do terrible things, some of which shaped me forever. I was not born into organized crime Charlotte, all I wanted to do was make enough money to give both you and your mother everything I could, but I lost my way.

I created this family with a few of the men I served with among others who supported my cause. I couldn’t stand behind Richard. He had always had a hate for women because of his mother, and he wanted people to hurt the way he was. I stood behind him in a lot of things Lottie, he was my best friend, but auctioning off people like cattle; I couldn’t.

Those who refused to stand behind him had a target on their back. Your mother was taken from me, Lottie, and you were raised by Richard for the first four years of your life; until she was brave enough to bring you back to me. Every day of my life, I think about that, and if you were hurt, but you never said anything; all I could do was worry. I never wanted you to hate her, but it was easier than looking you in the face and telling you that it was my fault she was gone.

---