Page 11 of Forbidden Access

He reached for his wine glass. “I won’t.”

CHAPTER 4

Thorn stood in Damian’s bedroom, staring at her reflection in the mirror. She wasn’t sure why her chest felt so tight, why there was a sudden heaviness in her throat. A few moments ago, she’d been fine—more than fine. She’d even managed a smile. But now, standing here in this dress, it all felt like too much.

It had been a mistake to wear it.

Do you, Rose, take this man, Jaden, to be your lawfully wedded husband.

Husband.

She thought about Damian and snorted. Not freakin’ likely.

Yeah, sure. He was a good-looking man, if you liked that dark, sullen thing—all swirling intensity and black looks. Not her type.

It had been eight years since Jaden had died, and she still wasn’t over it. She’d thought she was. She’d convinced herself she was stronger, that she could handle this mission, but the sight of herself in this wedding gown had brought it all back, hitting her harder than she expected.

Pat and the team thought the dress was a rental. She hadn’t corrected them. Only Damian had guessed the truth.

But a small part of her had wanted to remember. Wanted to feel like it was her first time again. The excitement, the anticipation, the joy.

Was that so bad?

With a steadying breath, she reached behind and unzipped the gown. It had been the happiest day of her life, after all. She’d wanted a glimmer of that, a chance to revisit it in her memory, a chance to remember him.

The silk gown fell to the floor. She’d never find that kind of love again. It was a once in a lifetime thing, and she considered herself lucky to have experienced it once. Some people didn’t even get that chance.

Sadly, it had been short lived. She’d lost it a couple of weeks later.

On honeymoon.

The screams still haunted her. She could hear them now, on the beach. The shouts of fear, the cries of terror. Then the gunshots, getting louder and louder. The realization. Running. The hot sand beneath her feet. Jaden shouting at her to get back in the water, gesturing madly. Bullets flying over her head.

Sniffing, she stepped out of the dress. Would the screams ever fade? Did she even want them to?

Thorn shook her head, pushing the memories away.

Sniffing, she stepped away from the gown, leaving it on the floor like a shed skin.

The past was done. She couldn’t change it, couldn’t bring Jaden back. She had a job to do, and that idiot in the living room was it.

Sure, he was a tall, darkly handsome idiot, with intense gray eyes that seemed to see right through her—but he was still an idiot.

She picked up her holster and Glock, attaching them to her hip with practiced precision. The familiar weight of the gun against her body grounded her, pulling her back to reality. Thorn examined herself in the mirror, now clad in jeans and a black T-shirt, her holster in plain view.

Now she could think like an operative again, and not like a wife.

His wife.

He wouldn’t be so bad if he stopped with the questions. She didn’t need an inquisition. Steeling her shoulders, she returned to the living room.

She returned to the living room, finding Damian lounging on the sofa, a glass of wine in his hand. He’d removed his jacket and undone his top button, exposing a tanned chest with a smattering of dark hair. He looked up as she entered, his eyes briefly lingering on her before returning to his glass.

“I have to admit, I preferred you in the wedding dress,” he said, a hint of a smirk playing on his lips.

She ignored him.

“There’s soda in the fridge, if you want something to drink,” he added.

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