Page 80 of Married With Lies

She doesn’t.

My last option is to scream in her face that she needs to let go or I’ll puke.

This doesn’t work out the way it’s supposed to.

Instead of a scream, what comes out of my mouth is a projectile blizzard of undigested salad greens, vinaigrette and seasoned croutons. Hadley takes the brunt of the blitz, which hits her in the chest and splashes down the front of her dress.

She stands there in frozen shock for a horrifying heartbeat. Then comes the screeching. “SCRAAAAAAAPS!”

Though Hadley has released her hold on my arms, it’s not soon enough. A second round of vomit is on the way. This time the dance floor takes a direct hit.

A woman shouts that her shoes were splattered. Someone screams. A man’s high, maniacal laughter sounds suspiciously like it belongs to Grant.

When I look up, the first person I see is Baylor. He’s standing next to our father. Their expressions are priceless.

Hadley continues to scream like she’s being stabbed to death. A flock of peach-clad bridesmaids surround her in a panic. Some of them are crying.

The groom comes running and skids on a puddle of my vomit. He stumbles right into my father and Baylor. The three of them go down like bowling pins.

Arlena wanders into view with a large silver ice bucket. She throws the contents on Hadley, solving nothing. And now there’s an obstacle course of ice shards all over the floor. A woman in a blue dress slips and falls and begins shouting about her bad hip.

All of this takes no more than twenty seconds to transpire and yet seems to happen in extended slow motion. Just when I think this particular circle of hell must be nearing completion, a new layer is unleashed.

Baylor pops up from the pile of bodies on the floor. He helps my father to his feet. Baylor’s wife, Talia, hurries over. Then she stops and covers her mouth. Her body convulses as she gags. Baylor reaches for his wife and she heaves again. This time a tidal wave of vomit lands on his tuxedo.

Bridesmaid Shayna starts running for the restroom with her hand over her mouth. Hadley shoves her attendants aside and follows. She overtakes Shayna, pushes her out of the way, and then trips over a chair. Hadley is still sprawled on the ground when Shayna gags twice and then pukes on Hadley’s head.

Elsewhere in the reception, bedlam erupts. A desperate rush to reach the restrooms has created mass panic. Apparently I’ve created a chain reaction. Someone ought to study such a phenomenon.

But it’s too soon for me to feel guilty. Especially because I don’t believe I’m finished puking.

Fortunately, I don’t need to stand around and wonder what to do next because a pair of mighty arms lifts me into the air with ease.

“Hold on, honey,” Cale says. “I’m getting you out of here.”

I don’t have the strength to object. Later there will be plenty of time to dwell on this humiliation but for now I’m just grateful that at least one person still likes me.

Clinging to Cale’s neck, I look at no one as he begins wading through the reception nightmare. Under different conditions I’d be melting over the romance of being carried by Cale.

“Use this if you have to,” he says as he hands me a silver ice bucket that looks exactly like the one my stepmother dumped on Hadley.

“I’ll try not to throw up on you,” I say to him.

He chuckles. “Don’t worry about it. I’m not squeamish.”

We’ve escaped the disaster inside the reception tent. The cool seaside night air feels much better but my stomach still pitches with an ominous gurgle.

I think I’ll be needing that bucket real soon.

22

SADIE

The answer is grey.

Cale’s bed is covered in grey sheets. They must have an impressively high thread count because sleeping on them is as comfortable as sleeping on a cloud made of cotton balls.

In spite of the cloud comfort, I wish Cale had just let me sleep on the couch. I feel rotten for taking his bed for the past three nights but he insisted.

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