Page 64 of Married With Lies

I stroke her soft fur and although the next growl of thunder isn’t as loud, she still trembles. “I know, sweet girl. I don’t like it either.”

Cale drops to the floor at my side. He sets the flashlight down and points it at the opposite wall so we’re not sitting in complete darkness. He draws his knees up, perhaps because it’s more comfortable for him. His slight grunt when as he shifts his posture could be due to pain, although he hasn’t mentioned any pain in days.

A spectacular blast of lightning makes the room glow for a split second. Spots dance in front of my eyes.

Cale’s arm brushes my shoulder. “So what happened when you were five?”

I run my hand over Ginger’s soft fur. “What do you mean?”

“You said you’ve hated thunderstorms since you were five.”

“My mother died when I was five.”

Cale waits for me to say more. This isn’t a topic that comes up often so I need to reach deep and find the words.

“I don’t remember hearing about her death. I suppose I might have blocked it out. But I do remember her funeral. That night there was a really savage thunderstorm. I was afraid to stay in my room alone so I got out of bed and walked down the hall, hoping to find my father. I knocked on his bedroom door and a woman answered. She told me I was having a dream and slammed the door shut. She ended up being the first of my stepmothers. Baylor was the one who found me wandering in the hallway. He read me a story and then tucked me back into bed.”

It's a painful memory for more than one reason.

The grief over my mother’s death.

The rejection from my father.

And then kindness from my older brother, who has changed so much since then. Now we can barely carry on a conversation.

“What happened exactly?” I ask. “Between you and Baylor? For years you guys were the best of friends. Did you have a fight?”

Cale shifts again. The warmth of his body tempts me to burrow closer but I don’t dare.

“No,” Cale says. “Bay went one way and I went another.”

“It’s really that simple?”

“We don’t always become the person we think we’ll become, Sadie.”

I’ve never heard him sound like this before. Thoughtful. A little sad maybe.

As sweet Ginger relaxes in my arms, I allow Cale’s words to sink in.

I’m exactly where I’ve always wanted to be. Baylor is not. He used to balk at the idea of working for our father. He loved science and kept a large rock collection. He tossed around the idea of becoming a geologist. Now he’s running for Congress and can’t blow his nose without our father’s blessing.

In recent years I’ve felt plenty hurt by the loss of the bond my brother and I once shared. For the first time I also feel a little sorry for Baylor.

This brand new thought arc leaves me wondering about something else.

“What about you, Cale? Are you the person you thought you’d be?”

He’s so silent and immobile. After a minute I start to wonder if I’ve angered him.

But there is no anger in his voice when he says, “I’m who I need to be, Sadie.”

It’s easy to forget that a fearsome and powerful man like Cale Connelly must be fighting his own inner battles. He’s impossible to neatly categorize. His aura of calculated ruthlessness contrasts with the man who rescues mistreated dogs from the side of the road and shields me from the rain.

I’m so hungry to hear more from him.

Just as I’m struggling to come up with the proper way to urge the conversation along, Cale breaks the silence.

“I was thirteen when my father died. He was called to a fire caused by some chemicals igniting in the basement of an apartment building. When the thing fell down around him it seemed like a miracle when he walked away with just some minor burns. But the toxic smoke was too much and his lungs wound up severely damaged. He died a week later. At the time my mother was already fighting lung cancer. I’ll never know if it was the grief that caused her health to decline or if it would have happened anyway. But six months after my father died she was gone too. And that’s why me and Luca grew up in Richie Amato’s house.”

---