Page 73 of Whatever Will Be

Then I glare at Liam Cassini. “You know I was a virgin. I even cried out when it hurt, remember? I didn’t tell you to stop, although you didn’t care that I wasn’t particularly sober. I’m not here to ruin your life. But the baby is yours and I’m having it.”

“Shit.” He runs a hand over his face and looks to the ceiling for help. “Shit! What the fuck do you want?”

I stand up. “Nothing. I don’t want anything from you. I just needed to tell you.”

The sudden hope on his face is ugly. “I can give you money, Julianne. If we can just keep this quiet, I’ll make sure you get, you know, helped out.”

I want to tell him to take his money and shove it up his ass.

But it’s not like I earn a great salary. With horror, I realize I can’t afford to turn him down.

I hold my head up even though the effort is difficult. “Fine. I’ll accept whatever you think is fair.”

His eyes narrow greedily. “And this stays between us or the payments stop.”

God, he’s so disgusting.

How could I have ever seen him differently?

It felt like my whole life had gone by since a guy really looked at me. Then one night I went searching for some excitement. Liam was the one who found me. He smiled. He asked when I’d grown up into such a beauty. And I’d become so lonely and pitiful that I fell for a line I should have laughed at.

“Agreed.” I don’t want him anywhere near my child anyway. “No one will know that you’re the father.”

He relaxes. His problem has been solved. He’s happy now. “My business manager will be in touch.”

I hate this feeling, like we’ve just conducted a transaction. Although I suppose that’s what it is.

“Goodbye, Liam.”

I need to get out of here. I need to get out here right now or I’m going to vomit.

No, I’m going to vomit no matter what.

Down the hall, I see a door marked as a bathroom and I stumble through it, barely reaching the toilet in time. My phone is set down beside the sink as I splash water on my face and I realize it’s still recording.

Yet I don’t hit pause.

This is almost over. Soon I’ll be in my car driving home.

I hope Gretchen is awake.

My sister was shocked when I told her about my pregnancy. But I can see her watching as my belly begins to show and she’s getting excited about the baby. Even though she’ll be away at college by the time I’m due, she’ll only be in the city and I know she’ll visit often. I desperately want someone to be excited with me. My mother screamed her head off over the phone. She called me stupid and cheap and some other choice words but she’s not part of this family anymore anyway. Gretch and Danny are my family. Now we’ll have the baby too.

Liam’s office door is still open and I move quietly toward the stairs, grateful that I don’t need to pass his door on my way out. But then I hear his voice and I freeze in place with my phone in my hand.

“Meh, that was nothing. Just a local girl with a problem. It’s taken care of.”

Another man speaks. “She looked young, Cassini. One of your high school pieces?”

Liam laughs. “Shit, the young stuff I get inside of is a lot hotter than that.”

The other man whistles. “Not my thing. Too risky.”

“Your loss, man. Nothing sucks cock as eagerly as a sixteen-year-old cheerleader.”

If I listen to another word then I will vomit again.

I don’t want to know anything else about Liam Cassini. I won’t even think of him as my baby’s father. I refuse to.

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