Page 50 of Whatever Will Be

Danny was going to call a car to take him to the small airport in Albany where he’ll catch a short flight to Philly before going all the way to Phoenix. I offer to drive him to the airport instead. He’s been looking at me kind of funny ever since Gretch and I returned from our trip the other day and we need to have a chat.

Watching him say goodbye to the twins is both sweet and sad. They each cling to one of his legs and make him promise to come back again.

“As soon as I can.” He hugs them gently and I see his chin quiver for a second. He glances at the end table photo of Jules and a shadow falls over his face.

“Do I get a hug too?” Gretchen asks.

Danny swings one arm around her and she stands on tiptoe to embrace him.

“I’ll take care of them,” she murmurs.

“I know,” he nods. “Take care of yourself too.”

“I will.”

He steps back and looks at her. Though they are close in age they never really clicked when they were kids. But there’s nothing Danny wouldn’t do for his sister. He feels shitty about leaving her here under these circumstances. I know he does.

Gretchen knows that too. She tilts her head and gazes up at him wistfully. “Make your dreams come true, Dan-O.”

The twins go to her side and she automatically puts an arm around each of them.

“Goodbye, Uncle Danny.” Caitlin waves the arm of the doll in her hand.

Mara chews on a piece of her brown hair.

“I love you guys,” he says to his family and throws his duffel bag over his shoulder before he gets too emotional.

Danny’s quiet as we leave Lake Stuart behind. He flips the radio around until he finds the sports news and settles back to listen.

“So you’re jumping right back into things?” I ask him because the silence is getting to me and I can’t shake the feeling he’s pissed.

However, his voice is free of anger when he says, “Yeah, I’ve got three days to work out before I need to report. You know, last season I was going to give up on the game. I’d been offered a job as an assistant coach at a Phoenix area high school. Jules knew I didn’t want to take the job. She’s the one who told me not to give up. Jules is the only one who’s ever really believed in me.”

“I believe in you, Dan. Gretch and the girls believe in you.”

He rakes a hand through his shaggy hair. “I’m shit for leaving them.”

“No. Don’t even think that. If it helps at all, I’ll be around.”

He moves in his seat and I can feel him staring at me.

“What’s up?” I ask even though I already know.

“I need to ask you something.”

“I’m listening.”

“What’s going on with you and Gretchen? Don’t even bother denying it. You’re a crappy liar, Cassini, and I’m not fucking blind.”

“I like her.” The words sound inadequate and they are.

“How much do you like her?” he demands.

“A hell of a lot, Dan.”

“Huh.” He nods. “Didn’t see this coming.”

“You mad?”

---