Page 29 of Whatever Will Be

She still isn’t.

We shared a moment when she was being completely sincere and honest. In that moment a hidden piece of me woke right the fuck up and screamed YES!

I claimed her mouth. I put my hands on her. And she was into it. Really into it. She might have given me everything right there in the cold by the light of the moon.

I’m the one who stopped.

I left her standing there and wouldn’t look back when she called my name. I knew if I turned around then nothing would keep me from carrying her into the house and taking her in filthy ways that would blow her mind.

Honestly, I don’t know what Gretchen’s been up to all these years, if she’s had no lovers or twenty. And I don’t care. I could easily get consumed with the idea of corrupting her until she can’t catch her breath.

Which is exactly why I find myself sitting out here at the edge of an abandoned amphitheater with a hard dick.

The sound of a crash coming from the nearest cabin puts me on alert. The noise could be from an animal or it could be squatters. I’m not looking for a confrontation either way, so I stand up and hike back to my truck with my eyes wide open.

My schedule is clear for the rest of the day.

I know exactly where I’m going next. And Danny isn’t the only member of the Aaronson family I’m hoping to see when I get there.

5

Gretchen

“What are you writing?” Mara asks as she climbs into my lap.

“Just a letter.” I set my pen down on the kitchen table and wrap my arms around her squirmy little body.

Even without different hairstyles, I’ve never had any difficulty telling the twins apart. They always possessed very distinct personalities and mannerisms from the time they were tiny.

“To who?” she asks and then giggles when I tickle her.

“A very nice lady named Abigail Fisher. Your mommy used to write to her too.”

When I sat down, I just meant to dash off a quick note, thanking Abigail for the flowers and for the college fund she has set up for the girls. But once I started writing I just kept going. I’ve filled three sheets, front and back, of loose-leaf paper. I’ve written about growing up with Jules. I’ve written about what a wonderful mother she was. I’ve admitted that I can’t get used to the reality of a world without my big sister.

After all that writing my hand is cramped but releasing the words has also made me feel lighter. Letter writing is too cathartic to be a lost art. I hope there is someone willing to read the letter to Abigail if her eyes are not up to the task. She’s always been good to us and I think she’ll like hearing about Jules.

“Can we go to the castle?” Caitlin asks. She has appeared with a small bag full of tiny baby dolls. I know she’s referring to the tent in the carriage house.

“Your Uncle Danny is staying out there,” I remind her.

“Is he home right now?”

“I don’t know,” I admit.

Danny found a gym in town that he likes and when he’s not running miles up and down the boardwalk he’s there sweating through hard core weight training.

He hasn’t said much but I know his mind is on the upcoming spring training season. This year might be his best shot. I can’t tell him not to take it. Jules wouldn’t want that either.

Mara abruptly hops off my lap. She runs to the back door and points excitedly at the glass. “It’s Trentcassini!”

Every muscle in my body tenses. “Where?”

“Outside. He’s talking to Uncle Danny.” She pulls on the doorknob but there’s a safety lock high beyond her reach.

“Hold on.” I walk over and flip the lock for her. Caitlin is now also in a hurry to get outside and they both jostle against me with impatience.

“Jackets first,” I caution before I’ll allow them to pass.

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