“Mmhmm. He hired a marketing and sales team and they’re using your photos for the new campaign. He even—” Her eyes widen.
“He even what?”
She shakes her head. “Nothing. So what are you going to do?”
In the past few weeks, I’ve done little else but think about Beckett but I’m still conflicted.
“I don’t know,” I admit. “I’m trying to get my act together, you know? I just feel like I have a lot of baggage to sort through before I’m in a good place again. I kicked Finn out of my life and that was so hard. What I thought was love… wasn’t. It was just a toxic, codependent relationship and I spent years enabling him and making excuses. So I’m not ready to jump right into another relationship.”
She nods thoughtfully. “I hear what you’re saying, I do. But Beckett isn’t Finn. He’s changed. I can see it. And I think a lot of that is because of you. You made him happy. It just took him a while to figure that out. But I think he made you happy, too. So I guess you just have to ask yourself if you’re better off with him or without him.”
I laugh softly. “If I knew the answer, I wouldn’t be so confused.”
“I think you do know but you’re too scared to admit it. Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith.”
I chew on my lip. It sounds risky.
I need to be more cautious.
I need to start protecting my fragile heart.
“That’s exactly what the old Daisy would have done but look where that got me. My impulsiveness led me to a lot of bad decisions and crappy relationships.”
Callie thinks about it for a minute. “Beckett would never steal your car and leave you on the side of the road, Daisy.”
She’s right. Beckett would never do that. Even when I thought he hated me, he still cared.
But just because he would never leave me stranded on the side of the road doesn’t mean he wouldn’t hurt me in other ways.
After we hang up, I finish my latte and stare at the gray sky and when it becomes clear there are no answers there, I walk back to my apartment in the November rain.
New York looks especially gritty today.
I miss California. I miss life on the vineyard. But most of all, I miss Beckett.
As I climb the stairs to my apartment, I hear a door open.
When I reach the second-floor landing, Anna is standing there with her hands on her hips. “Why are you still here?”
“I don’t have to be in Miami until Friday. Where else should I be?”
She tilts her head. “What is your heart telling you?”
I rub my hand over my chest like it will ease the ache. “My heart can’t be trusted.”
Anna scoffs. “That ex-boyfriend couldn’t be trusted. Your heart was never the problem.”
The following week when I board my flight from Miami to New York, I’m still thinking about Anna’s words.
Maybe she was right. Finn couldn’t be trusted and neither could Astrid.
But my heart has always known what it wanted. I want something real. I want a relationship that stands the test of time. I want a man who puts me first. A man whose actions speak louder than his words.
I want a man who respects my wishes and gives me the time I need to figure out what I want in life without pressuring me or forcing me into doing his bidding.
I want a man who loves me just as I am.
A man who listens and intuitively understands what I need and then he gives it to me with no strings attached.