Page 149 of Bitter Rival

“I just…” I let out a breath, my gaze wandering to the graffiti wall across the street. “I felt so betrayed.”

“I didn’t lure Astrid there.”

“But you were working behind the scenes the whole time we were together, weren’t you?”

He presses his lips together and nods. “I told myself that what you didn’t know couldn’t hurt you. I never meant to get you involved.”

“Best laid plans.”

He grabs the back of his neck. “Yeah. But I couldn’t just let it go. I wanted to make her pay for what she did to my mother and for what she did to you.”

I can tell that he’s being sincere and that he truly believes that he did all that for his mother and for me but he already knew my stance on seeking vengeance. “And how did it make you feel when you got your revenge?”

He sighs. “You know the answer, princess.”

“And the million dollars?”

“I donated it to a mental health organization. Why?” He lifts his chin. “Do you think I should have given it back?”

I snort. “No.”

His lips tug into a smile.

“But you know what the best revenge is?”

He reaches out and wraps a lock of my hair around his fingers, tugging on it. I smack his hand away and he gives me a chagrined smile.

“Sorry.” He sighs and jams his hands in his pockets. “It’s so fucking hard to be around you without touching you.”

“I’m not yours to touch, Beckett. Our arrangement ended with my mother’s arrival.”

He nods and runs his hand over his mouth.

“As I was saying…the best revenge is to live well and to be happy. My mother will never be happy. Nothing will ever be enough for her. So when I told you that I didn’t want to be anything like her, that’s what I meant. What you did was exactly what Astrid would have done. Do you honestly believe your mother would have wanted that for you? Do you think your grandmother wants that for you? When someone loves you, really loves you, they only want the best for you.”

He nods solemnly. “I know. And I only want the best for you.” He looks up at the front door of my building. “Can I come up?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“I’m not asking for sex.” He holds up his hands. “I won’t even touch you. I just want to see where you live. I want to imagine you here surrounded by your things. I want to see the life you created.”

“And then what? What will you do after you’ve seen it?”

“I came with one goal in mind. To win you back. I was planning to do whatever it took.”

“And now?”

“And now… I just want to see where you live and to finish this conversation, preferably in a place that doesn’t reek of garbage and have used needles on the ground. Are all your neighbors junkies?”

I almost laugh. He’s such a snob. I live in a perfectly good neighborhood in Greenpoint. “Not a fan of Brooklyn, huh?”

“I’m not a fan of you living in a place that doesn’t feel safe.”

“I’ve never had anything bad happen to me here. I’m as safe as you can be anywhere,” I say, digging my keys out of my bag and unlocking the front door.

Inside, we climb the stairs to the second floor and I unlock all three locks and push my door open. Then I remember the state of my apartment and turn to him, blocking his entrance.

“I’m not the best housekeeper so don’t judge me.”

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