Page 84 of Pity Parade

I forge ahead. “I’ve missed you.”

“Are you smoking crack?” Her hands are on her hips like a schoolteacher lecturing a class of seventh-grade bullies.

“No,” I say, trying to remain calm before asking, “Did something happen while I was away?”

Instead of answering me, Trina says, “I’m going to need you to pretend I don’t exist. Barring that, you are to never speak to me again, do you understand?”

“Not at all,” I tell her. “We were on good terms when I left. Are you mad I didn’t tell you I was leaving?”

“Not in the slightest,” she hisses. “I’m mad you came back.”

“Trina …” I start to say.

I don’t get to finish my sentence because she slams the door in my face. I’m still standing there with my mouth open when she opens it a few seconds later. She’s carrying her purse and a suitcase.

“Where are you going?” I ask her.

“None of your business.” And just like that, she gets into her car and drives away.

I am completely stumped as to what her problem is. I pick up the phone and call Missy’s fiancé, Jamie. I figure that’s a safer move than talking to any of the women. Because if Trina is this mad at me, I’m guessing her girlfriends are as well.

“Heath,” Jamie answers after only one ring. “Where are you?”

“I’m in my cottage,” I tell him.

“In Elk Lake?”

“Yeah, I just got back.” I go inside and sit on my sofa. After propping my feet up on the coffee table, I ask, “Did something happen while I was away?”

“I’m sure a lot of things happened,” he says evasively. “Are you asking about anything in particular?”

“I was wondering if you knew why Trina was treating me like a war criminal?”

“Ah, that,” he says. “I think it has something to do with her finding out that you told Trent she used to be a man.”

Oh, crap. Instead of trying to deny it, I ask him, “How did she hear about that?”

“Trent told her.” He continues to enlighten me by saying, “Trina took Trent out to lunch to set him up with someone. Apparently, that’s when it came out.”

I can’t imagine how something like that would ever come up in casual conversation, but at least I know what I did. I unnecessarily state the obvious, “She’s really mad at me.”

“Oh, yeah,” he says. “According to Missy, who got it from Paige, she never wants to see you again.”

“That’s a little harsh.”

“You think?” Jamie asks. “I don’t know why you told Trent that, but I think Trina’s justified in her anger.”

“She is,” I agree. Then I confess, “I told Trent because I was trying to convince Trina to go out with me. When Nick arrived, I started to get worried. All I was trying to do was reduce the competition. I know how wrong that was.”

“That sounds a little insecure for a guy like you,” he says.

“A guy like me. What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Only that you’re successful, not bad looking according to the ladies, and you’d already had your chance with Trina, but you blew it.”

“You know about that, too?” I ask.

“The girls have been having a field day at your expense all week. They even printed out a picture of you from the internet to throw darts at.”

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