Page 68 of Pity Parade

It isn’t until she says that that I realize peace is the very thing I was looking for. I needed to visit the place I was happiest. I needed to see that something from the past hadn’t changed.

A surge of emotion fills my corners as Emily closes the door behind me. I want to sit down and tear open this envelope right here, but somehow, I know that isn’t the right thing to do. Instead, I walk next door and stand in front of Jess’s and my house. I try to imagine her opening the door to welcome me home. I paint a picture of what that greeting would have looked like with one, two, or even three kids running around the lawn.

I’m going to bawl like a baby if I stand here any longer, so I force myself back to the present. Under my breath I whisper, “Goodbye, Jess. I love you.”

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

TRINA

“I didn’t know you wanted to be an ornithologist when you were growing up.” I stare across the table at Daniel and try to imagine him sitting in a tree watching birds. “How did that turn into becoming a heart surgeon?”

Daniel called me first thing this morning and invited me to lunch. He’s now regaling me with what seems like as many obscure facts from his life as he can come up with. Like he was born with a double set of wisdom teeth that were practically growing down his throat. Ouch.

He takes a sip of water before telling me, “One devastating day in the ninth grade, it occurred to me there wasn’t any money in bird watching.”

“I can’t imagine there would be,” I say with a grin. “Although I’m sure if you picked up a camera while you were watching them and took some pictures, you might have been able to become a calendar photographer or something.”

He fake smacks his palm to his head. “Now you tell me!”

There’s a marked difference between Daniel and Heath, and it’s possible that when I first saw Daniel again, I was under Heath’s spell. When Daniel walks into a room, you see a good-looking, friendly man who’s a bit on the reserved side. Heath walks in and it’s all peacock feathers and spotlights.

I don’t need flashy in my life. What I need is a solid person who’s willing to go the distance. I still can’t say if that’s Daniel, but after yesterday with Heath, Daniel is looking a lot better.

Heath is still madly in love with his wife. To the point where I’m willing to bet his recollections have escalated into mythical territory. As in, his wife was perfect—no flaws, no human foibles. Reality is hard enough to manage when your expectations are reasonable.

“Where is one place you’d like to bird watch that you’ve never gone to?” I ask Daniel.

He doesn’t hesitate before telling me, “Bhutan.”

“In the Himalayas?” I didn’t see that coming. I thought maybe he’d pick a tropical destination in South America or something.

“So many countries in the Himalayas are deforesting at a rapid rate, but Bhutan has large, protected areas that have become a sanctuary for a wide variety of birdlife. It’s supposed to be magical.”

I try to imagine myself traveling across the world to look at birds and, while it’s nothing I’ve ever thought of doing before, I can’t help but think it might be fun. “What else would you do while you were there?”

“Other than watch the black-necked cranes?”

“Yeah.”

“I’d love to see Nepal and climb up to Tiger’s Nest Monastery in Paro. Then there’s the Ura Tsechu festival and Punakha …” He decides, “Ultimately, I think there would probably be enough to do for a couple of trips. What about you? Where have you always wanted to go that you haven’t experienced yet?”

“You’ll laugh,” I tell him.

He raises his right hand. “I promise on my grandmother’s grave I won’t.”

Taking a deep breath, I tell him, “Euro-Disney.”

His mirth erupts out of him like a bark. When he notices my scolding look, he hurries to apologize. “Sorry. I wasn’t going to laugh but I didn’t expect that answer.” He composes himself before asking, “Why, may I ask, does Euro-Disney call to you?”

That’s when I confess, “It doesn’t. I just thought that might make my real dream vacation seem less weird.”

“Thank goodness.” His relief is palpable. “Where’s your real fantasy destination?”

I hesitate for a moment before telling him, “Mt. Rushmore.”

“Oh, I’ve been. It’s cool.”

“Here’s the embarrassing part,” I tell him. “I’ve been obsessed with going ever since seeing National Treasure in high school.”