Page 26 of Pity Parade

We sit silently for a while before she offers, “I think it’s pretty common for people to have an identity crisis as they get older.”

Ignoring the comment about getting older, I ask, “What about you? What do you want your legacy to be?”

She takes a deep breath before exhaling slowly. “I don’t know that I’ve ever thought about it. The angst I’m currently feeling is a pretty new development in my life.”

“Too new to have any answers, huh?”

“I still have to work to pay my bills,” she says. “I guess I just want whatever I do to be something that matters, you know?”

“I really do.” Pulling my feet close to my body, I push up until I’m standing. “Let me know when you figure out what it is you want to do. It might give me some ideas.”

“I’ve got a couple giant hurdles to jump before my next big thing,” she says mysteriously.

“You want to talk about it?” I ask, both hoping she does and doesn’t. No good can come from me getting to know Trina more than I already do.

“No. It’s just stuff I have to figure out. I’m sure I’ll do it.”

“Leave your coffee cup on the deck and I’ll pick it up later,” I tell her.

“Thanks, Heath.” I don’t know if she’s thanking me for the coffee or for the conversation. All I know is that I really need to take a step away from Trina Rockwell.

Once I get back up to my cottage, I pull eggs and bacon out of the refrigerator. As I put together my breakfast, I let myself imagine what it would be like if this were my real life.

This cottage is small and not at all what I’ve come to regard as luxury, but it has everything a person needs. What would it be like if I scaled way back and lived simply? Would I be more fulfilled, or would I just be lonely?

My phone rings before I can come up with an answer. One look at the screen and I see that Shelby is calling again. I click the button to send her directly to voicemail and then I turn off my notifications. Shelby is partially responsible for my needing a change. She’s so motivated to have more and do more that it’s become increasingly difficult to keep up with her. It’s gotten to the point where I’m not sure I even want to.

After eating breakfast, I decide to go into town. Maybe I’ll stop at Rosemary’s and pick up a pie to bring to Jamie’s tonight. But even though my intention is to head into Elk Lake, once I get into my car, I turn in the opposite direction of town.

I crank some old-school reggae and let the music wash over me while driving around the lake. There are families everywhere, spending a beautiful summer day together. Pulling over to the side of the road, I pick up my phone and call my little brother, Tyler.

He answers on the third ring. “Heath, what’s up?”

“You’ll never guess where I am,” I tell him.

“Chicago?”

“Nope.”

“Hawaii?”

“No.”

“Bali?”

This game could go on forever, so I finally tell him, “Elk Lake, Wisconsin.”

He starts laughing. “Seriously? What are you doing there?”

“I rented the same cottage we stayed at with Mom and Dad when we were kids.”

“Why?” He sounds truly confused.

“What do you mean, why? Why not? We had a great summer here.”

“We did,” he agrees. “But isn’t Elk Lake a family destination? I mean, what are you doing there all by yourself?”

“How do you know I’m alone?”

---