Page 20 of Pity Parade

“I suppose so, but being a matchmaker on television is a far cry from being Alpha Dog,” I tell them.

“I think Teddy is still surprised that he’s famous,” Faith says.

“How so?” I ask.

“He struggled for a lot of years before being cast by Wonder Films. He claims to still wake up some mornings worrying that he’s late for his job waiting tables.”

I laugh out loud at that. “I used to wait tables when I first started out as a matchmaker—pre-television. I worked at a restaurant known for its pumpkin muffins. I still occasionally dream I’m caught in the kitchen with a giant muffin blocking my path. The only way out is to eat my way through it.”

Faith snorts. “I know that dream, but in mine it’s always a sour cream coffee cake. I’ve gotten to the point where I don’t even like it anymore.”

Paige joins in. “I still have nightmares that I’m running late for school the morning I’m taking a final in a class I’ve never attended. But now that I am the teacher, I dream I’m giving a test to a class that I’ve never seen before, and my job is dependent on how well they do.”

Faith pulls out an empty chair and then sits down with us. “You’d think we’d get a break from anxiety while we were sleeping, wouldn’t you?” Before we can answer, she asks me, “What’s the story between you and Heath Fox?”

I reiterate what I just told Paige, which causes Faith to scoff. “He’s probably so used to women falling at his feet that he doesn’t feel the need to commit.”

Paige shakes her head. “Don’t men want relationships as much as women do?”

“Heath has made it abundantly clear that’s not the case for him.”

“He’s got to be nearing forty,” Faith says. Like age has anything to do with it for men.

“I wish humans were more like penguins,” I announce. At the blank stare on both of their faces, I explain, “The mother lays the egg but it’s the dad’s duty to sit on them and keep them safe until they hatch.”

“You wish we were egg layers?” Paige asks, sounding confused.

“I wish procreation was more evenly balanced for our species,” I tell her.

Faith agrees, “Men get to be part of the fun and then it’s all on the woman to grow the kid and keep it alive for the first few months. It is kind of daunting.”

“Are you getting cold feet?” Paige asks her friend.

With a drawn-out sigh, Faith tells her, “I’m tired of being tired is all.”

“How far along are you?” I ask her.

“Sixteen weeks. According to all the books, I’m supposed to be feeling energetic by now, but my body doesn’t seem to have gotten the memo.” She changes the subject and asks, “How are things going with Operation Find Trina a Man?”

Paige fills her in on what we’ve been up to, which causes her to ask, “And the cottage you’re renting is right next to Heath’s?” I nod my head which has her adding, “That might be awkward.”

“How so?” Paige asks.

Faith shrugs. “How should I know? I’m just saying that Heath seemed enamored with you last night and he might not like seeing you with other men.”

That’s when a terrible thought hits me. “I told Heath I was renting the place for various friends to stay while visiting me. He’s going to have questions when he sees the only people who come are single men.”

“You need to make sure these guys don’t talk to him,” Paige says, sounding panicky. “Or he might out you as the person behind the contest.”

My face flames so hot I nearly break out into a sweat. The sensation is quickly replaced by cold dread. I feel like I just ran for ten miles in the desert before walking into a meat locker. Going for a bravado I don’t feel, I tell her, “I’m sure that won’t be a problem.”

“Why?” Faith asks.

“Because, like I said, Heath isn’t interested in me.”

“Oh, he’s interested,” Faith says. “Just not maybe in the way you want him to be.”

CHAPTER TEN

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