Page 92 of Pity Parade

“Why in the world would you be jealous?” she demands. “You went out with me last year, and essentially told me you would never be serious about me. You had no prior claim on me, Heath.” She stops walking before crossing her arms and staring at me like I’m a naughty child.

“I messed up, Trina. I shouldn’t have told Trent what I did, and I should have asked you out again. I wanted to ask you out again so badly.”

Her tone softens slightly. “But you didn’t because you were still mourning for your wife. You still are.”

I lead the way toward a bench next to the swings. Then I gesture for Trina to sit down. Once she’s seated, I explain, “I’ll always love Jess, and I will always love our child. But the night we got ice cream helped me realize they’re gone, and I’m still here.” Her eyes narrow like she’s trying to discern if I’m telling the truth. “I went back to Chicago to face my past.”

“How did you do that?”

“I went back to the house Jess and I shared. I had tea with our neighbor.”

“And that somehow set you free?” I can see where she might find that confusing.

“Emily, our neighbor, gave me a letter Jess had left for me.”

“Why didn’t she give it to you sooner?”

“She tried to, but I was a jerk and never returned her phone calls.”

Trina snorts. “You, a jerk?”

“I deserve that.” I tell her, “In the letter, Jess said she was worried something was seriously wrong with her. She explained that she didn’t want to find out because she wanted to believe everything was fine.” Finally, I tell her, “She told me that if something happened to her, she wanted me to move on and live a beautiful life.”

Trina studies me carefully. “And after reading that, boom, you’re ready to date?” She smacks her hands together for effect.

I shake my head. “Yes and no. After our date last year, I was afraid I could fall in love with you. I was so drawn to you, it scared me.”

“So you pushed me away,” she says.

“Yes. But I’ve thought about you all year. I even watched your television show.”

Her right eyebrow quirks in question. “Because of that one date we went on.”

“We talked the night of the auction, Trina. We spent seven hours together on our date. I know you might not believe this, but you are the only woman since Jess died that’s made me want to break my rule about getting serious. Only you.”

“But you didn’t break your rule,” she tells me. “You stuck to your guns by pushing me away.”

“And then you walked back into my life,” I tell her. “What are the chances you and I would be staying at neighboring cottages in Elk Lake, Wisconsin, of all places? I’m going to go out on a limb and say they’re close to zero. And yet, here we are.”

“And you’re suddenly ready to get serious?”

“Not suddenly,” I repeat. “I knew the night we went out that I wanted to see you again. And that scared me. Badly.”

“You told Trent that I used to be a man,” she says heatedly. “Who does something like that?”

“A seriously flawed and jealous person. I’m truly sorry, Trina, and if you want, I’ll tell Trent the truth. I’ll take out an ad in the newspaper.”

“I don’t care what Trent thinks,” she finally says. “I’m just finding it difficult to believe you’ve suddenly changed to the degree you’re claiming.”

“Again,” I tell her, “it’s not sudden. I’ve been thinking about you a lot, but I felt like I was being disloyal to my wife. Then I read her letter and was finally able to accept that she was gone. I’m still here and I deserve to be happy again, Trina. I want to be happy again.”

She shakes her head. “And you think you could find that happiness with me?”

“I do.” Taking her hand in mine, I tell her, “I’ve never told any other woman about Jess and my son, but I wanted you to know. I want you to know everything about me, even the painful stuff. And I want to know everything about you.”

With a small smile, she confesses, “I’ve never told anyone I was captain of the bowling team.”

She looks so vulnerable and afraid, all I want to do is pull her into my arms. But I don’t because I don’t want to scare her away. “Will you give me a chance, Trina? Will you please go on a date with me?”

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