Page 105 of Pity Parade

She snort laughs, which is totally adorable. I tell her, “You are so talented, kind, and smart …”

“And HOT!” a male reporter yells out.

“And hot,” I concur. “But the thing that draws me to you is something deeper than all of that. It’s like my soul has bumped into a missing part of itself. And while that’s terrifying, it’s also been really healing for me.”

Trina’s head dips low like she’s embarrassed by what I’m saying. But even so, I can tell she’s pleased. I gently reach out and touch her chin, then lift it so we’re eye to eye once again. “I want you to know”—I gesture to the audience and add—“I want the world to know, what an amazing person you are. I want everyone to know that you are the only person I see myself having a future with. You are it for me, Trina Rockwell.”

Shelby decides to join in and ask, “Are you proposing to her?” She sounds horrified.

“No,” I say. “But not because I don’t think Trina is perfect for me. I’m not proposing because I know I’m going to need time to assure her that I’m the man for her.”

Amid the sighs of appreciation, I add, “And believe me, when that time comes, I will not ask Trina to be my wife publicly. God knows, I couldn’t handle the rejection if she said no.”

“Would you say no?” Shelby appears to be enjoying her role as one of the enquiring minds.

Trina arches one eyebrow like she’s seriously considering her answer. “It’s hard to say, Shelby. I mean, I think Heath is really looking forward to showing me how hard he can grovel, and I’d hate to take that opportunity away from him.” The crowd laughs loudly in appreciation of her wit.

I tap on the mic to get everyone to settle down before saying, “We’d better call an end to this conference so I can get busy groveling. But seriously, thank you all for coming and we look forward to updating you on all future developments.”

As everyone begins to disperse, Tom comes up to the podium and confronts me and Trina., With spittle flying from his mouth, he hisses, “I’m going to sue you both.”

“What are you going to sue Heath for?” Trina demands.

“He just told all these people that I’m going to do a show about the homeless. Which is totally ridiculous.”

Heath puts his arm around my waist and pulls me close. “I did no such thing. I just told everyone what we talked about at lunch.”

“You made it sound like I was onboard with the idea, which I am not. In my opinion, the homeless should be bussed out to the country and dropped on a large plot of land so they’re out of our hair.”

Tom Meranda is even lower than I thought he was. I look around and make eye contact with a reporter, then I motion for him to come over. When he arrives, I tell him, “Mr. Meranda has a very interesting idea on how best to deal with the unhoused.” Then to Tom I say, “What do you think, Tom? Want to share your insights?”

Tom steps forward and hisses in my ear, “You won’t have a penny left by the time I’m done with you.”

“Good luck with that,” I tell him. Then I take Trina’s hand and lead her away.

“I think he’s really going to sue us,” Trina says.

“He can try, but believe me when I tell you he’ll regret it.”

“Oh, I believe you.” Then she stops walking and turns so we’re standing face to face. “I’m sorry I put a tracking device on your phone.”

“I don’t have any secrets from you, Trina, nor will I ever. If you want to track me, I’m good with that.”

“Seriously?” She looks completely surprised.

“Seriously,” I tell her.

“You can track me if you want, too,” she says sheepishly.

“No, thanks. I’m good.”

“Hand me your phone,” Trina says. I open it and hand it to her. She deletes the “Where Are You” app. “I should have never put it there.”

“We both did things we shouldn’t have done,” I tell her. “What do you say we call it even?”

“I don’t know,” she says teasingly. “You told someone I used to be a guy. I think I have a few more screw ups in me before we’re even.”

“Good point.”

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