Page 79 of Bride Under Contract

‘It’s not a bangle. It’s a teething ring,’ he told her. ‘It was my brother’s. It’s been in the family for years. Polished up for each baby.’

‘I’m so sorry.’ Her eyes filled up and she looked at him, ‘‘It’s lovely that you keep something of his...’

‘No, Grace,’ he corrected with a slight smile, ‘I don’t drag it around the world with me.’ His smile paled. ‘Ulat had it with him when he died.’

‘Ulat?’

‘Hugo. Ulat is what the locals call their babies for the first few months. He was just starting to be known as both. Arif goes back to the site each anniversary. It turned up last year and he gave it to me that night at the resort.’

That night.

‘Was that why you were arguing?’

‘In part.’ He nodded. ‘I told him he should have left it where it was.’

‘You don’t want it?’

‘No.’ He shook his head. ‘I don’t.’

He’d been in turmoil since it had been handed to him—the nightmares, the feeling of dread...

For years he’d settled for being numb—outwardly successful, inwardly dead.

Now he was thawing, and the agony it exposed was spreading beyond him.

Everything had changed since this teething ring had been in his possession, and he wanted it back where it belonged.

‘Arif thinks I should take it back myself.’

‘Go into the jungle?’

‘He’s offered to take me.’

‘Maybe it would help?’

‘How? I watched my family disappear before my eyes. Believe me when I say I don’t want to relive it.’

It was the first time he’d really spoken about it, and she felt her heart squeeze. ‘You saw it?’

‘I don’t know,’ he admitted. ‘I guess I must have. I should have stopped it.’

‘What were you supposed to do?’ she asked. ‘What could a child do?’

‘Kept him in the boat with me.’

‘Hugo?’

‘Believe me when I say that I was the adult in that family.’

He was still furious with them; she could feel it.

‘I was taken out of school—not just to travel but to take care of him. And I didn’t.’

‘You can’t let guilt stop you living your life.’

‘I don’t let guilt stop me,’ Carter said. ‘I’ve built the life that I want.’

She nodded, but she felt it wasn’t enough, that something should be said. But she knew Carter would not have that conversation.

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