Page 73 of Forgiving Her First Love

“Did you know that your mom was kind of my girlfriend a long time ago? It was before she met your dad. We all grew up here together here, me and her and my brothers.”

“I know. But I didn’t know she was your girlfriend.”

“It was only for a short time. To be honest, I didn’t deserve for her to be my girlfriend at all. I was kind of a jerk to her. I was actually a really big jerk. When we all came back here in April, she was still mad at me, but we’ve talked it out and I’ve apologized. The good thing is, she forgave me. Now we’re friends again.” Maybe that wasn’t the whole truth, but it was pretty close.

“Your grandpa was also a really, really good friend to me.” Good thing he had closed that door. His throat was closing and his chest felt like it was being sandblasted from the inside. “He felt more like an uncle. He was always really patient with me when I wanted to learn more about boats. You know how you feel about dinosaurs? That’s how I feel about boats. I’ve always been crazy about them.”

Biyen released a noise of amusement around his soggy cookie. “I wish someone here knew more about dinosaurs than I do. Then I could just ask.”

“Yeah, it’s pretty cool when someone can help you with your interest. That made Art really special to me. If there is anyone here who feels as sad about him passing away as you and your mom do, it’s me. When you’re feeling this bummed, it’s kind of nice to be around people who feel the same way. In fact, when I’m with you guys, I don’t miss him quite as hard.” Very true, even if it did make him feel bloody vulnerable to admit it. “And I feel like your grandpa would expect me to do my best to look after you and your mom, now that he can’t.”

“Dad said you won’t let him live with us even though he wants to.”

Logan’s mouth fell open. He clapped it shut, making himself take a calming breath and think this through before he answered. Sophie had warned him to never get between her and Biyen. She might think Nolan was king of the shitknots, but she never deliberately wedged distance between him and her son, only held her own firm boundaries.

This wasn’t about Sophie’s relationship with Nolan anyway. It was about what kind of relationship Logan wanted to form with Biyen.

“I did say something like that to your dad,” Logan admitted. “I shouldn’t have. It’s not my decision to make. We all get emotional when someone close to us dies. I felt cranky that day so I was rude to him. He’s your dad, though. I like you so I should show your father respect. I will in future.”

He was starting to think parenting was one long exercise in self-control and personal accountability with a side of humble pie. It kind of sucked, but as he watched Biyen kicking his feet and frowning thoughtfully, he honestly didn’t care what it cost him so long as he protected this kid from life’s worst knocks.

“Dad said Mom might move away from Raven’s Cove. He said I could live with him if she wants to go live with you.” Biyen’s eyes were huge now. Worried. His cookie was forgotten.

Logan was instantly livid, not that he showed it. He took another slow breath in and out, even though he could hardly see through a haze of red. What kind of asshole laid something that heavy on an eight-year-old?

“I can see why you wanted to come home and talk to her. That would be a huge decision, but you know what? I am very confident she would never make a decision like that without discussing it with you first. Your mom is the only one who can say for sure what she wants, but I do know she loves the heck out of you. She would never move anywhere without you.”

“That’s kind of what I thought.” Biyen relaxed a little and dipped the last piece of cookie into his cup.

Logan could have left it there, but he wanted to be as truthful as possible.

“Look. I want you to know that I care about your mom a lot. If she did want to be my girlfriend, I would like that, but it’s a complicated time for both of us. The important thing for you to know is that I’m not a dickhead. If she wanted to become a big part of my life, I would want and expect you to be a big part of my life, too.”

Biyen’s teeth flashed as he stuffed the final bite of cookie into his mouth. “I don’t think you should let Mom hear you say that word.”

“Which one?” Logan played dumb. “Girlfriend?”

Biyen tucked his chin, looking so much like Sophie at her sternest, Logan had to chuckle.

“Gramps let me swear sometimes.” Biyen’s chin came up with pride as he gathered his mug in two hands.

“Yeah?”

“Uh-huh.” He took several gulps to drain it, then swiped his wrist over his lips. “The d-word. The one like the beaver builds.”

“I know that one.” Logan nodded.

“The f-word. Fart,” he mouthed. “Not the other one.” His eyes widened.

Logan would have wondered what sort of fairyland they occupied if Biyen hadn’t at least heard the other one.

“And the s-word,” Biyen said. “The poop one. Except that was because I dropped my whole tub of LEGO.”

“What else do you say when that happens?”

“That’s what Gramps said!”

They shared a solid laugh of enjoyment over that one.

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