Page 42 of Forgiving Her First Love

“Now that Randy’s back, you think I’m liable to go on mat leave? Tempting.” She was being facetious. “I thought about it a lot in those first couple of years. I wanted Biyen to have a sibling, but things were already hard, not having Mom and Nolan being so…” She shook her head, glancing at her ex. “He didn’t want another baby and my life was complicated enough without bringing a new man and another baby into it.”

She was doing it again—confiding in Logan, but maybe he needed to hear it.

“I often wish I’d given Biyen a brother or sister by now. Growing up, I was really envious of anyone with siblings, even you boys who acted like you hated each other.” She gave him a pointed look. Appreciate what you’ve got. “Maybe your childhood wasn’t all that it could have been, but you went through it together and there’s value in that. Reid and Trystan understand you in a way no one else does.”

“I guess.” His head tilted as he considered that. “But as someone who was gifted a baby sister at twenty-nine, I am pleased to inform you that it’s never too late to give someone a sibling. Too early? Definitely,” he said as Reid and Emma came back. “But never too late.”

“What?” Emma asked as Sophie rolled her eyes.

“Logan is being his warm and loving self. Is the band on intermiss—No, Emma,” she said sternly as Quinley set four shots on their table.

“It wasn’t me. It was Reid.”

“Did you know “Rockstar” is by Nickelback?” Reid asked Logan.

“If I didn’t, I wouldn’t admit it. I’m embarrassed for you, I really am.” Logan picked up one of the shots.

“I’ve been living in Alberta,” Reid defended. “Ask me about country music.”

“Nickelback are from Alberta,” Sophie cried with exasperation. “Turn in your passport and let’s make a pact that this is our last one.”

They lifted their glasses in agreement and shot them.

It was not the last one, but they danced off the alcohol in the second set, ending with a rousing shout of “Life Is a Highway,” which had the whole place singing along.

“We like to end with this Leonard Cohen song,” the lead singer said. “It’s called “Closing Time,” and it’s not the one by Semisonic so no need to order any shots unless you want them. Find the one you’re going home with and cuddle up for your last dance.”

Emma went into Reid’s arms.

Sophie started to leave the floor, but a very bleary-eyed drywaller stepped in front of her.

“You’re the most alive person I’ve ever seen,” he said.

Sophie had thought she’d heard all the two a.m. come-ons. Hell, she’d fallen for plenty of them way back when, but this was so corny she could only blink with bemusement.

“Has that ever worked? Ever?” she asked.

“No dice, champ.” Logan slid his arm around her and turned her into his chest, drawing her into the lazy rhythm of the song. “Unless you wanted to dance with him?” he asked as he created a small space so he could see her face.

His shirt was damp from all their dancing. His hands on her waist were heavy and hot enough to scald.

“No, but I should get home.” Her feet shuffled into the slow beat, though, so she swayed in time with him. Their bodies brushed and she let herself lean a little closer.

The band sang a lyric about the gates of love budging an inch and she kept her gaze pinned on the hollow at the base of his throat.

Leave, she told herself, but she stayed in a state of heaven and hell, thinking of all the times she had left with the wrong guy, wishing Logan had been the one taking her home. He would be tonight, but not in the way that mattered. Not forever.

He had called his life in Florida hollow. Hers had been so full all these years it was often too full, but there was a pocket of emptiness in it, too. It was a Logan-shaped hole that she had packed with graveled resentment and hostility, then papered over with Never Again.

Those sorts of patches never stuck, though. It was splitting and spilling and she could feel that empty space growing inside her again.

The last notes petered out and the lights went up and all the couples broke apart.

Sophie felt sweaty and melancholy as they trailed outside to begin walking home by the flashlights on their phones.

“Did you get your credit card?” Emma asked Reid.

“I told them to put all our drinks on Logan’s tab. They’ll settle up with him next time he’s in.”

---