Page 87 of The Saloon Girl's Only Shot

“No.” Owen cleared his throat and took off his gloves to tuck them into his waistband. “He left this morning. Felix went with him.”

That meant Owen would soon have his confirmation that Felix was really the uncle of Marigold and Pearl. Given how warmly and casually Felix spoke of the women, Temperance was already more than convinced.

“If I had known I would see you here, I would have brought your letter. Emmett didn’t want to open it. He said it’s from Chicago.”

“Oh.” She was full of profundity today, wasn’t she? “Jane is expecting me back with some buttons. I’ll come by this afternoon.”

“I’ll see you then.” He closed the gate on the wagon. “Do you...” He nodded jerkily at Clarence. “Do you want to take him with you?”

“If he waits for me while I do my shopping, that would be nice. Thank you.”

They both stared at each other for another moment, waiting for the other to speak. Then Owen nodded and climbed into the wagon. As he rolled away, she and Clarence stood outside the mercantile in the cold.

That had been as stilted and uncomfortable as anyone could imagine, yet she wished it was still going on. She missed him.

She was still muddled and aching with yearning when she got back to the Bijou.

“You’ve brought a visitor.” Jane smiled when Clarence waggled in the door. “I apologize, sir. I only made enough coffee for myself and Temperance.” Jane set aside her sewing and scrubbed behind Clarence’s ears. “He didn’t come find you here, did he?”

“No, I saw Owen at the mercantile. He said I have a letter waiting at the Horseshoe. I said I would go to collect it.” Temperance put away her few items then poured from the pot Jane had made. “Do you want to walk with us? I’m starting to worry about you, sitting in this dim little room sewing all day.”

“I’ll come as far as the bridge.” Jane sighed and rose to put on her coat. “I could use the fresh air, but I’m thinking I can finish by dark if I keep at this one. How is Owen?”

“I think he’s fine? Neither of us knows what to say.” Temperance hadn’t told Jane about her conversation with Katherine. It seemed too private a thing to gossip about, but she couldn’t help asking, “Do you think it’s worse to be married to a man who doesn’t love or respect you, or live unmarried, but at least know that you have a man’s genuine care and regard?”

Owen had never stolen from her or left her pregnant the way Elmer had treated the women in his life.

“If you’re asking me whether I think you should go back to living with Owen, you know I’m partial to having you here. But if I had to choose between your living at the Horseshoe or in Chicago, I’d vote for the Horseshoe. Even though you are melancholy company at times,” she added in a gentle tease. “Not today, of course. Not when you bring Mr. Sunshine with you.” She found the spot that made Clarence thump his foot.

“I keep trying to imagine my life if I went back to Chicago,” Temperance confided, sitting down to sip her coffee. “I don’t even know if Adelaide would allow me to see much of my siblings, which is the main reason I want to go, but they’re not babies anymore. They don’t need me the way they used to.”

“It’s a different relationship as you grow older.” Jane nodded. “I was angry with my brother when he left. He said he’d send for us, but Mama said she would never leave. Too many women needed her there. I understand now that he wanted to find something better for all of us, especially for himself. I can’t begrudge him that.”

Temperance appreciated hearing that, since her greatest worry was that her siblings would resent her if she didn’t come back.

“Did he find something better?” Temperance asked carefully. “Your brother?”

“I think so.” Jane let out a frustrated breath. “I went to St. Louis, which is where I believed him to be. They said he’d gone north into Canada. I’d like to write to a newspaper there, to place an ad, see if I can get a letter from him.”

“My father might be able to help. He still has contacts there. Maybe that’s where you and I should go, Jane. I enjoyed my time in Canada,” Temperance said wistfully. “Of course, the twins weren’t born yet. Adelaide wasn’t so harried. Things felt simpler.”

“They always do when we’re young, don’t they?”

“They do,” Temperance agreed.

“Are you really going to give up on Owen?” Jane asked gently.

“I don’t know. Does it make any sense to leave one heartache to go back to where I suffered my first one? At least I’m not embarrassed by my love for Owen. He doesn’t believe he’s worth loving, but I know he is. I have other people I love here too.” She smiled mistily at Jane. “And you,” she said to Clarence as he came to set his chin on her knee.

“I have friends here,” Temperance continued. “The ones in Chicago had already moved on with making their own families, or they turned their backs after gossip got around about me and Dewey. Here people seem to appreciate me, even if all I do is bring them a drink. That’s all I wanted from Adelaide, just once, to hear that she appreciated my help with the children, or that I made Papa’s life that little bit easier. He couldn’t have provided the lectures that paid the bills if I hadn’t helped him write them, but she never saw it that way.”

“Owen values your work,” Jane pointed out.

“I know he does. It’s hard, though. It’s so hard to see him and not know what to say.” She thought about those moments this morning when love and lust and yearning had tangled up her tongue. From the very beginning, making love with him had been incredibly?—

“Oh, Jane!” She clunked down her cup. “I’ve been so distracted by other things I forgot something that Katherine Greenly told me.”

“When did you speak to her?” Jane set down her own cup, startled.

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