Page 13 of The Queen

I may have been hoping for comfort, but this was Shadow and his words were harsh and laced with menace. “Yes, there are rules in place for your safety, which you disregard, putting yourself in danger. You want to be included? Stop acting like a child. Every time things get hard, you run. What are we supposed to think? If we give you the truth, you bolt. Where did that determined girl I met on the Hive go? The one that was willing to crawl through ventilation tubes, alone in the dark, to save us all. Where is she?” He let his hands fall away and looked down at me.

“I don’t know. I don’t know how to do any of this.” Defeated, I pulled away, and wandered past him, going straight to the bed and flopping face first into the fluffy pillows. It smelled good, really good. So good, in fact, that all I wanted was to bury my face in the blankets forever.

The bed dipped under his weight as he sat on the edge of the mattress. “We’re here to help you, but you’ll have to figure some of this out on your own.”

“Is that what Ghost was doing? Helping me figure it out with those girls in his bed?” I dragged a pillow over my head and shoved a blanket to the side, burrowing deeper into the covers. I felt stupid and childish for reacting this way, but I couldn’t help it.

Thinking about them with anyone else was torture. I knew they had a past, but I was here now. Did he think so little of me that he’d turn to his previous lovers just because propriety had me locked away in my room?

Within the thick folds of blankets, the scent of campfire and sun-soaked oak trees surrounded me. I filled my lungs, recognizing Lex’s pheromones mixed with Shadow’s. This felt right, all of us together, and it made me miss Grey and Ghost. Even though I was furious at him, I wished they were all here.

From a gap in the blankets, I watched Shadow’s eyes narrow as I rearranged his bedding.

“That’s something you’ll have to discuss with him, but I doubt it’s what it looked like. Why does that bother you, but not my relationship with Lex?”

I breathed out a sigh. The shock of what I’d seen was beginning to wear off as the familiar scents in Shadow’s bed calmed me. The hurt ebbed to a dull hum. “I don’t understand it, but something inside me knows that we all belong together. The five of us feel right. Your relationship with Lex is like an extension of us, but seeing outsiders in his bed felt like a betrayal.”

“If it’s anything like what this bond is doing to me, the thought of being with someone outside this group is repulsive. I can’t make it through a day without checking the security feeds to make sure you’re okay. Even when I know I can’t come to you. I feel like an obsessed teenager.” He shook his head ruefully.

“But why not? Why can’t you come if you feel the same draw that I do?” I asked, exasperated by his excuses.

“You know why.” He stopped like that was all he was going to say, but then went on. “Propriety, for one. You are a queen and I am nothing. You should pick a noble to be your king.”

“You’re not nothing to me. I don’t care about nobility or propriety. What if I want you?” Had I not been clear enough in the past? I thought it was obvious.

Ignoring my question as if I hadn’t said a word, he continued. “Secondly, while we were gone, the Regent hired more soldiers. He changed the staffing and schedules. When I think I’m finally caught up, more paperwork or recruits are brought to me. I haven’t had a single spare moment since we’ve been back other than the picnic.”

At least they weren’t avoiding me. They were busy and had no spare time, as I suspected. “Let me help you. Teach me how it works.”

“You’re asking to be trusted with more responsibility, but if you really want that, you need to earn it with your actions, not just pretty words.”

Poking my head out from the burrow I’d made, I asked, “How am I supposed to do that?”

“By taking ownership of what you do, and the consequences of those actions,” he said, the shadow of a smirk forming on his lips.

“Okay, fine. How do I start?” I crawled out of the safety of the blankets, hoping to get this underway.

“First, your punishment.”

“Punishment?” I sputtered. “For what? I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Didn’t you sneak out of your room and spy on Lex?” he asked.

“Well, yes…” I dragged out the admission not wanting to incriminate myself, but unwilling to lie. “That wasn’t on purpose, though!” How did he even know about that?

“And then did you not try to disguise yourself, sneak out of the secure residence you were provided for your safety, and run around in the military barracks where anything could have happened if Lanxer hadn’t recognized you and informed me of where you’d gone?”

I knew that stinky alpha sold me out, but it was all true. “Yes, but I had a good reason.” I scampered off the bed and started backing away.

“And are you not, right this moment, trying to avoid your punishment by making excuses?” A half-grin pulled at his usually stoic mouth. It was as if my rising panic was fueling his amusement.

In a desperate bid to escape what I knew was coming next, I darted past him toward the door. His hand swung out and snatched me around the waist, dragging me across his lap as I wiggled and squealed. “No. I promise, I’ll do better. I’ll stay in my room and behave. Please.” I clearly wasn’t above begging.

“Where’s the fun in that?” he said, a chilly smile whispering across his lips.

My stomach clenched in anticipation as he popped the button on my pants and dragged them down my wiggling thighs. Heat flooded my core despite my protests. I’d been wanting this for days.

His calloused fingers traced the round globes of my ass, and I whimpered with need. I didn’t want him to know how excited I was to have his hands on me in any way I could get them, but the slick gathering between my legs wasn’t something I could hide from his wandering eyes. Squirming was only making it worse by teasing tiny brushes of friction in the places I wanted it.

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