“I’m not saying I won’t tell him. I just won’t tell him yet.”
When Leslie didn’t say anything, Carmen added, “And I prefer that you not mention anything to Sloan. He and Redford are thick as thieves, and Sloan might not feel comfortable keeping news of my pregnancy from him.”
“You’re right, he wouldn’t feel comfortable keeping it from Redford. It’s your decision as to when you tell him, so I won’t say anything to Sloan.”
“Thanks, Leslie.”
“What does the doctor recommend, Carmen?”
“For now, six weeks of bed rest. I’ll be on a strict diet geared to reducing nausea and dehydration. Unfortunately, the doctor won’t release me to go home unless she knows someone will be there to assist me for the first week. After that she’s arranged a nursing service to visit me twice a week to make sure I’m doing okay.” Carmen paused and then said, “As you know, Chandra and her family are out of the country for the summer visiting the folks in Cape Town.”
At first Carmen had planned to join them until she’d decided to begin writing her academic papers to be published next year. It would have taken her the entire summer to get started. Now it looked like she would be confined to bed rest most of the summer instead.
“I know this is a lot to ask, Leslie, but could you fly here so the doctor will release me from the hospital tomorrow? Then I can get one of my neighbors to check on me during the day for a week.”
“Of course, I’ll come there, and don’t bother your neighbors, Carmen. I will fly out first thing in the morning and stay for a week. Longer if you need me. I’ll need a reason to tell Sloan as to why I need to take an unexpected trip to DC for a while, but I’ll think of something.”
“I hate putting you in this predicament, Leslie. I know it’s a lot asking you to keep anything from him.”
“Let me worry about that. All I want is for you to take care of yourself and my future godchild.”
Her future godchild... That made Carmen smile. “Thanks, Leslie. You’re the best. And like I told you, I’ll eventually tell Redford, but he’s the least of my worries right now.”
“I’m going to kill him,” Leslie said, through what sounded like gritted teeth.
“You will do no such thing. Once I got over being angry and hurt, I was able to accept the fact that Redford never lied to me. The only lie was the one I told myself. I knew his type. Had known it from the very beginning. However, on that night I’d gotten it into my head that he had accepted his place in my life as my soulmate. It wasn’t anything he’d said but what I had wanted to believe. For that reason, I lowered my guard, thinking he’d finally realized I was different from all those other women.”
She paused a moment and then added, “I lost more than my virginity that night, Leslie. I lost my common sense to a man who was a master at seduction. A heartbreaker. A womanizer. In the end, he treated me just like he did the others. He slept with me with no intention of there being anything beyond that. I was wrong to think there would be more. That was my fault and not his. You tried to tell me. Now I wish I had listened.”
Fighting back tears, she continued, “I now accept that Redford was never my soulmate and I was never his. There are no soulmates in my future. It was just an illusion I allowed my mind to concoct. For some people, true love does exist, but I’ve accepted that I’m not one of them.”
“Carmen...”
“I’m fine, Leslie. I remember when one of my fellow professors came to school heartbroken because her boyfriend had lost interest in her. I can now top that. Redford didn’t lose interest since there was never any interest on his part anyway. Just on mine.”
Wiping away tears, she added, “Accepting my mistake about Redford is the least of my worries now. It’s up to me to make sure I give my baby a fighting chance by doing what the doctor says needs to be done. Once the shock that I was pregnant wore off, and the doctor explained I could miscarry if I didn’t take care of myself, I knew I wanted this baby even if Redford didn’t.”
“I believe Redford will want the baby, too, Carmen.”
She shrugged. “I know what he told me, Leslie. That he didn’t ever want kids. But it doesn’t matter. Like you said, he has a right to know, and I will eventually tell him. But I don’t plan to hold my breath that he will change his mind about fatherhood.” She sighed deeply and then said in a soft voice, “I honestly don’t know how this pregnancy happened when I know for certain he used protection. I saw him put it on. Of course, I wasn’t using anything because I wasn’t sexually active and hadn’t planned to be. But it doesn’t matter how I got pregnant, the fact is that I am.”
“The most important thing right now is getting you released from the hospital and home to be taken care of,” Leslie said. “I’ll be there tomorrow. Don’t worry about a thing, Carmen.”
Chapter Nine
The buzzer on Redford’s desk sounded. “Yes, Irene?”
“Mr. Sloan Outlaw is here to see you, Mr. St. James.”
Redford raised a brow. The last time he’d talked to Sloan was when his friend had told him Leslie wasn’t happy with him. That had been two weeks ago. He knew the last thing he should be contemplating was contacting Leslie for Carmen’s contact information anyway.
He had awakened just that morning and decided enough was enough. It was going on another month, and he couldn’t explain why the woman was still on his mind. No one could convince him such a thing was normal. There had to be a reason why thoughts of having sex with other women were a turnoff instead of a turn-on; and why thoughts of making love again to Carmen constantly dominated his mind.
If Leslie refused to give him Carmen’s contact information, then he would hire a private investigator to get it. He had come up with a solution to this madness, one he believed would work. However, that meant seeing Carmen again.
“Mr. St. James?”
He’d forgotten his secretary had been waiting for his response. “Please send Mr. Outlaw in, Irene.” He stood and came around his desk to sit on the edge of it. Obviously, Sloan had business in the city for him to be in Anchorage since he and Leslie had dual homes in Wasilla and Fairbanks.