Page 16 of Mine to Take

CHAPTER TWELVE

KIRSTEN

I'd been home for one month and was trying desperately to return to my mundane life, which was hopefully boring Max and Craig into a complacency that would lead to the end of this ridiculousness. But I knew I that wasn’t going to be the case until they had killed Farid.

I was still mostly working from home translating documents and letters and had grown accustomed to waiting for Max to bring my mail to me after lunch so he could watch me sort it.

He waltzed into the back door and I got up to pour a glass of water. He tossed the pile of unsorted mail on the island and I reached in the fridge and grabbed him a Coke. Randomly flipping envelopes of junk mail, a credit card bill. I made a mental note to remind them I wanted e-statements. Then I paused a beat too long at the small envelope with my address hand-scrawled across the front. Max put the Coke down and followed my eyes to the envelope.

There was no return address, and it was New York City postmark.

“Go ahead,” Max said.

I opened it, my pulse racing. The thin piece of paper trembled in my hand. Written in Farsi “I love her and it is the beginning and end of everything.”

I smiled and read it again before handing it over to Max.

I told Max what it said. He looked at me, skeptical. “It’s a quote from F. Scott Fitzgerald, a love letter he wrote to Zelda.”

“What does that mean?” Max asked.

“It means nothing, there is no hidden meaning,” It means he still aches for me like I do him I thought. “It’s just…he used to quote Fitzgerald to me a lot when we were together.” It pained me to share that personal detail with Max, not due to a need to spare his feelings, but because my time with Farid was mine and I didn’t want it tarnished, I didn’t want to share it.

“I want to trust you,” Max said.

“Take it. Have someone verify what I told you, but I want it back.”

He nodded and reluctantly took the letter. As I watched him pick the it up, my heart seized and the ache I’d been sleeping with for a month now, the dull ache that had taken up residence in my heart and hung with me every minute of every day, suddenly consumed my entire body. I gripped the edge of counter, but nothing could still my body and stop the sobs that were about to erupt out of me.

“I miss him so much,” I cried as Max wrapped me in his arms. Arms I knew so well. Arms I had once craved, once thought I could never live without. But now these were not the arms I needed. These arms aren’t strong enough for this duty anymore.

I wriggled away from him and my eyes caught sight of the folder Max had unceremoniously plopped on the table two days ago. It was filled with pictures of destruction and death all over the globe that he claimed Farid had orchestrated.

“The man who made love to me every night,” I could feel Max bristle. “That man does that,” I pointed at the letter. “Not that,” I sniffled pointing at the folder. “You don’t know him. You don’t know anything.”

“Let me tell you how much you think I don’t know.” Max said, his anger and frustration building.

“I know that pine box you flew home with was purely ceremonial. There was not enough left of Chaz to put in it. You spent three months on a compound in the desert with a terrorist and you look like you just came from a fucking spa.

“Don’t get me wrong, Chaz had everything Farid did to him coming.

“He took you into his part of the compound, he gave you clothes, food, stopped locking the doors. Maybe he started bringing you gifts, things to make you comfortable, show he was paying attention when you talked,” Max moved closer to me, my eyes filling with tears, bile rising in my throat.

“Then the small touches began,” Max trailed his fingers along my jaw and into my hair. I smacked his hand away and stepped back.

“Stop it!”

“How I’m doing so far?”

“You’re just pissed because he protected me, he saved me when you couldn’t.”

“You’re right, I am! I will never forgive myself for what happened to you with Chaz, I blame myself for pushing you to him. But babe Farid is a criminal. He is wicked smart and a master manipulator.”

“Don’t you dare ‘babe’ me! Do you really think I would fall that easily?’

“Yes, because he saved your life and because this is what he does…”

“You don’t know anything!” I shouted at him, my heart cracking at the possibility Max was right. How could he have all of this so right. Did I really just go from being a victim in one relationship to another. “You have no idea who he is.”

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