Page 64 of Guardian Daddy

“I hope that I would have. The truth is that I don’t know. I wouldn’t want to leave you when you were vulnerable. But I hope I would have given you space. And not have breached any boundaries.”

“What . . . what did we do?” All sorts of scenarios ran through her head. This is what she hated the most. The not knowing. Why couldn’t she remember?

Panic started to take hold and Ethan grasped her hand. She realized then that she was flicking her hair tie against her wrist.

“Hey, stop. Why are you doing that?”

“Oh. I . . . I didn’t realize I was doing it.”

Shit.

That was the truth. But now that he’d seen her do it, would he realize it was something she did often?

“Please don’t do that. You’ll hurt yourself.” His voice was so gentle.

She swayed, feeling tired and overloaded.

“Please tell me what I did.” A horrible thought occurred to her. “Oh my God. Did I breach your boundaries?”

“No, sweetheart?—”

“But I did things without your consent!”

“Hey, listen to me.” The words were sharp. Stern. It stopped her panic and made her turn her gaze to his. “You didn’t do anything that I didn’t want, understand? Nothing happened. But if there was something I wasn’t comfortable with, I would have made that clear.”

“I might not have been able to stop myself. I don’t know if I can think rationally when I’m like that. Because I don’t remember. I never remember!”

Suddenly, she started hitting her forehead.

“Cate,” he said sharply. “Cate, stop. Do you want me to get Rhodes?”

She shook her head. She needed . . . she needed . . . Cate didn’t know what she needed.

“Closet. Please.”

“Your closet?” he asked, looking confused.

“Please. Please.”

“Shh, baby. You don’t have to beg. You never have to beg for what you need. Well, unless it’s an orgasm that you want. Then you might have to beg me.”

Shock filled her as his words infiltrated the fog of panic. It took her a moment to realize that he had her cradled against his chest and was walking with her.

The feel of him surrounding her, holding her tight actually helped calm her. How did he do that? He was like her own personal Xanax dispenser. Only with touch and words rather than pharmaceuticals.

“Hey, Ethan, is everything okay?”

She stiffened as she heard Seth call out.

“Yeah, everything is fine. Cate isn’t feeling that great.”

“All right, we need to talk, but it can wait,” Seth said.

Pull yourself together, Cate.

“You can leave me and go speak with your colleague,” she told Ethan.

“I could,” he said. “But I don’t want to.”

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