Page 98 of His Cursed Heart

"Keaton please,"

"Who hurt you?" But I know. I fucking know the answer.

"Please-"

"Should I call your fucking father? Because he'll tell me I'm sure." My damn mind is gone. I'm gone.

"NO! Keaton, don't." She sobs and my heart can't take the sight of her crying. I can't watch her cry for the first time since God knows when and not be able to hug her. Because I can't do anything else besides killing.

Tearing apart limb by limb until animals will eat their remains.

"Promise me you won't look at me like they did. I can take their disgust, but I won't bear it from you. Please don't turn like them." She cries so hard that her body spasms.

But I can't fucking focus on that.

I focus on that word.

Them.

Almost three years ago

I don't want to wake up. If I could, I would bury myself in these sheets and disappear, but I'm not that lucky.

My muscles scream in pain and I can feel the sore bags under my eyes. All night I stood in front of Vincent's crib and listen to his little, uneven breaths.

My big growing boy, turning two next month. He's a ray of sunshine in this house, in my life. The bad feeling from last night isn't gone. I can sense something dangerous but I don't know what.

Since Keres got engaged and left a year ago, I've been a freak. All I hear is Papa's laughs, all I see is his disgusting group of friends.

All I feel is their hungry eyes on me.

I'm keeping my distance as much as I can. These days all I do is paint and take care of Vince.

I let out a sigh as I rise in a sitting position.

I'm lonely. Mamma left, Keres left. I'm alone with the person who wishes every day that I would just die.

I am different, so what? I like arguing and I love fighting with the guards. I like cursing and I love tattoos.

I've been compared to my sister so many times that it's getting boring.

A lady doesn't behave like that.

A lady doesn't speak so dirty.

They don't accept me, so why would I accept them? Being different is refreshing. It's extraordinary. To know that you're the only white tulip in a room full of red ones? It's powerful. People stare with wide eyes at the anomalies you have and the feeling gives you adrenaline through your veins.

You're not like everyone.

You're different.

Hold on to that.

And I am.

Keres begged me to behave in front of Papa and that she's gone, but she knows better. I will never let Papa think he tamed me.

Not when it's his greatest desire.

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