Page 17 of Destructive Truths

They aren’t the people I thought they were. How am I to trust the truth when my life is nothing but a construction of lies?

The lake air fills my lungs as I draw in a laboured breath. On a heavy exhale, I open my eyes, and my head tilts to the right, scanning the large end post holding the pier in place. A tear falls, sliding down my cheek, and I can’t help but reminisce when the carved-out heart comes into view.

D + S

4EVR

My fingers trace the hollowed-out letters engraved deep in the wood, and for the first time since my life fell apart, I allow myself to break down.

How did I get to this moment? When did my world shatter into a billion unrecognisable pieces I don’t know how to fit back together? When did everyone around me become different versions of the people I knew?

My body trembles as a wave of untameable emotion leaks from my tear ducts. My shoulders shake, and my breath lodges in my throat, slipping past my lips as an unflattering wheeze. It’s all too fucking much—the weight of this world, my new life, the deceit it’s all wrapped in.

I’ve got so many questions, and I don’t know where to begin.

Rohan King. Everything I knew changed the second he entered my life.

How could one person hold the power to tilt my world on its axis? Silly, naïve Saoirse. I thought his lies were delectable, but nothing, absolutely nothing, could have prepared me for the way he blew up my life with destructive truths.

Raising my hands, I bury my face in my palms, muffling the sound of my shattered soul as it heaves from my chest.

I want to return to a time when boring and normal were enough. When my mother was nothing more than an overprotective woman, and my father was a daydream I conjured in my mind. All I ever wanted was a stable life, somewhere I could call home forever. Instead, I’m caught in a web, tangled and trapped by every thread.

“Mind if I sit, doll?”

The hesitation in Lorcan’s voice drags my palms away from my face, making my eyes drift towards him. Gone is the suit he wore back in Killybegs, and it’s replaced by an old Dire Straits band tee and worn, distressed denim jeans. His tattooed arms are on full display, but his hands are deep in his pockets. His shoulders roll forward as he waits for my reply. He looks somewhat like the man I once knew, only less volatile. Hesitant, even.

Without words, I scoot over, making enough room for him to sink next to me as I stare out at the water. Silence floods the sky as I wait for him to say whatever he came out here to say. But after several deafeningly quiet moments, I break first. “Did you want something?” I turn my head towards him, watching his eyes roam over every detail on my face.

His gaze holds mine, and for the first time I recognise the eyes that are so similar to the ones that stare back at me in the mirror every day. As a child, I never noticed the similarities between us. And although I mostly resemble my mother, I can see a subtle touch of myself within Lorcan’s features.

“I know you need answers.”

“Then give them to me.”

His Adam’s apple bobs with a swallow. “My guilt eats me alive. I despise how much time I lost with you by protecting you and your mother. It may seem like I never cared because I wasn’t around while you grew into the woman you’ve become, but I promise, doll, that couldn’t be further from the truth.”

Drawing in a sharp breath, I keep my reply strong and unwavering. “Why did you do it, then? What was more important than your family?”

“A child of two provinces is something that doesn’t bode well within the syndicate. It’s against every rule ever written, and if word ever got around about your lineage, the target on your back would expand to every corner of Ireland. I love you both too much to allow that to happen. It’s always been beyond crucial to keep my role in your life a secret, Saoirse. That doesn’t mean I didn’t know every detail ’bout cha. We had the summers here, and when they had to end, your mother updated me on every facet of your life. I was there for every birthday, hiding in the shadows, watching you become a beautiful queen.”

His words shock me silent. Sure, the days we’d all spent at this very lake were magical. Lorcan, Mam, Devin—Liam—and I were always together. Fishing, swimming, riding bikes along the dirt trail. He’d been attentive, taught me the basics of how to enjoy the great outdoors. But that doesn’t explain the secrecy. They should have told me he was more than just our cabin neighbour.

“We should have told you sooner.” Lorcan voices my thoughts aloud. “I gave up everything to keep the two loves of my life safe. I walked away from all I’d ever known when I moved to Killybegs to ensure you stayed hidden. Whenever Gabriel came close to finding you and your ma, I helped her disappear again. Being a Ryan holds great power, doll. But God forbid Gabriel finds out you are a Reilly, too. He’d stop at nothing. That’s why moving you around became essential. Your ma and I needed you safe until it came time for you to overrule his seat in the syndicate.”

“What if I don’t want to?” The petulant child within me rears her head. “Has it ever dawned on either of you to ask me what I need? It’s barely been two weeks, and I’ve already faced death. I’m not cut out for this life, Lorcan.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, doll.” His eyes lock on mine, and I don’t pull away when his palm covers my hand. “You are more than what you think you are. Forged by the blood of the founding fathers, you were born to be the queen. Respect can only be earned, and loyalty gained, but strength… strength comes from the heart. Something you have in abundance.”

My pulse spikes with adrenaline, giving life to my tired body. Could he be right? Am I strong enough to tackle whatever this world throws at me?

“I know you’re scared, doll.” A glint lights his sharp eyes as his mouth quips into a wide smile. “But you need to starve that fear. Hunger’s a good sauce when power is the dish being served.”

Suddenly, a yawn breaks free, and I bring my hand to my mouth to catch it. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be. You’ve had a rough couple weeks. Why don’t you head back in and try to get some rest before you talk to your ma in the morning.”

As much as I hate to give in to his gentle demand, my body and mind scream at me for some reprieve from the madness. I rise from the dock with a nod, but as I turn to walk away, one question gnaws at me. “In the car… what did Liam tell you to tell me?”

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