Page 76 of A Sinner's Virtue
I think it’s time to move on, though.
I let my eyes close. Picturing our future. Mine and Zoe’s. We’ll have our own house, a dog, and eventually some kids running around too. I will spend every day of the rest of my life making sure she knows she’s loved. Wholly and completely loved.
I’ll chase her monsters away. I will fight her demons with her. We’re going to get past this. It’s going to take a while and it’s not going to be easy. But we will come out the other end—that much I know for sure.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Whispered voices break through my unconsciousness. Waking me up. I open my eyes to see a sleeping Marcel right next to me.
Am I dreaming? Or is this heaven?
I glance around as recognition sinks in. I’m in Marcel’s room. Which means this can’t be heaven. Because surely I’d be in a better designed room if it were.
Those same whispered voices have me stilling. I turn my head and see Izzy and Mikhail standing in the corner. Something I never thought I’d wake up to while sprawled out in Marcel’s bed.
Marcel’s bed. My head snaps back to him. He’s here. But I saw him… I saw him on the ground with all the blood pooling around him. My eyes run up and down his torso. There’s a huge bandage that covers half of his abdomen. He’s not dead.
“Zoe? You’re awake. Thank God!” Izzy takes a step closer to me.
I turn back to face her. She’s standing right next to the bed now. “What happened?” I ask her.
“You passed out. Marcel insisted on bringing you here,” she explains.
I look back at the man in question. He’s still asleep. His hand is firmly clasping mine. I can’t be here. Why would he bring me here?
“Izzy, I want to go home,” I tell her. A stray tear escaping. I know what I have to do. I’m not going to like doing it, but I can’t stay.
“Um, okay. Are you sure, Zoe?” she asks me.
I nod my head, not taking my eyes off Marcel. “I have to,” I whisper. He’s alive, but for how much longer? I can’t do this. I can’t do love. The heartbreak is just too much.
It’s easier if I break my own heart now. It has to be. I can’t be the reason Marcel takes his last breath. I can’t watch him die. I don’t want to know that kind of pain again.
“Okay, give me a minute,” Izzy says.
I nod but I don’t take my eyes off Marcel. Then, untangling my fingers from his, I slowly slide out of the bed, trying not to wake him. Mikhail is standing at the doorway with a strange look on his face. He doesn’t say anything, though. He simply takes my hand and leads me downstairs.
“Going somewhere?” Vin asks when I reach the lower landing.
“I…” I don’t know what to say. “I have to go home.”
He dips his head in acknowledgement more than agreement, if his next words are anything to go by. “You know he’s not going to like waking up and finding you gone. Again.”
“But he’ll be alive to not like it,” I remind him. “I’m sorry.”
Vin continues up the stairs while calling out over a shoulder, “See you later, Zoe.”
“Take me home. Please,” I plead with Mikhail. If I don’t do this now, I might not get the courage to do it at all.
“Let’s go,” he says, leading me towards the front door, where Izzy is talking to Marcel’s brother.
Gio looks at me with… pity. I know how close Marcel and his brothers are. None of them are going to be okay with me walking out on him, like Vin said… again. I’m not okay with it either. I hate that I’m doing this. I just don’t know any other way to protect myself and him.
“It’s going to be okay,” Izzy tells me. Wrapping her arm around my shoulder, she pulls me against her chest.
“Call if you need anything, Zoe,” Gio grunts before walking away.
As soon as I walk into my house, I head straight for the shower. I stay under the spray of the hot water until my skin is red raw and I’m out of tears. Dressing in a pair of sweats and a hoodie, not thinking about the fact that said hoodie is Marcel’s, I walk out to find Izzy and Mikhail in the kitchen.
