Page 8 of Puck Blocked
“Nah, I’ve got this. Go home to your family. I’ll see you in the morning.”
“Let me know if you need anything.” He nods his head and continues along the driveway. He only lives a couple of houses down, which is convenient right now, considering he left his car back at the arena.
I walk around to the passenger door. Open it and lean in as I unbuckle Montana. I’m about to pick her up when I stop myself. “Tanna, we’re home,” I whisper before taking a step back to give her space.
It hasn’t gone unnoticed that she doesn’t like to be touched, which just pisses me off more, because she’d always leaned into my hugs before. She was the one who held my hand through Sean’s funeral.
Her lashes flutter open and she looks around, seemingly confused, before those big blue eyes land on mine. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”
“It’s okay. Come on, let’s get you inside.” I take another step back and hold out a hand. After a moment of looking at it, she finally places her palm in mine and I help her out of the car.
Once we’re inside, Montana peers up and then glances around the foyer. “Do you live here alone?” she asks while tugging her hand free. She then shuffles back to put more space between us.
“Yeah, it’s just me here, Tanna. Who would I live with?”
“I don’t know. A girlfriend, a wife?” she suggests.
“I don’t have a girlfriend. And you’d be the first one to know if I had a wife.” Because you’re the only one I could see myself settling down with. I don’t say that part aloud. Instead, I gesture an arm in front of us and urge her to follow me. “Come on, I’ll show you the guest room. You okay to do the stairs? Want me to carry you?”
“I can do it.”
And she does. Slowly, so fucking slowly. I can see how much pain she’s in, but I wait right next to her, ready to step in and catch her if she falls.
By the time we get to the top landing, Montana looks ready to collapse. “You don’t have to be okay, you know. If you need help, I’m here to help you.”
“I know,” she says, but I don’t think she does know.
I open the door to the guest room located right next to my bedroom, walk in, and wait. “If there’s anything you need, just let me know and I’ll get it for you,” I tell her while pulling the blankets back on the bed. “Jump in. I’m going to go and make you something to eat.” I point to the door that leads to the adjoining bathroom. “Oh, and the bathroom’s just through there.”
Montana nods her head in acknowledgement. I watch her for a moment, making sure she’s able to climb onto the bed. Then I run back down the stairs, skipping over a few steps along the way.
I want to pick her up and hold her close. I want her to know just how much she’s loved. Remind her that she’s not alone in the world the way she seems to think she is. But all of that would be more for me right now. To help ease some of my guilt. What she needs is for me to be patient. To not give up on her, like Gray said.
I tug open the fridge and quickly pull out some ham, cheese, and butter. I’ll make her a sandwich. It’s not much, but it’s something. Next, I set the kettle to boil and grab a tea bag down from the top cabinet. She used to love peppermint tea. I started drinking it myself after Sean’s funeral. After I walked away from her. It was a little piece of her I could have with me all the time.
When I walk back into the room, she’s not in the bed. I set the plate and cup on the nightstand and walk over to the bathroom door. Knocking lightly. “You okay in there, Tanna?”
“I’ll be right out,” she replies from the other side.
“Okay, I left a sandwich and a cup of tea on the nightstand for you. I’ll be in the room right next to this one. If you need anything, just give me a shout,” I tell her.
Then I walk into my bedroom and straight into the shower. I want to stay with her but I don’t want to crowd her either. If she needs space, then I’ll give her as much space as I can bear to give her.
It’s not until I’m standing under the stream of cold water that the panic sinks in. Fuck. I turn off the shower, pat myself down with a towel, and throw on a pair of sweats. Just before I walk out, I grab a shirt and chuck it over my head.
I shouldn’t have left her in that bathroom. She wouldn’t, would she?
No. She’s not Sean. I have to remind myself that she’s not him. She’s not going to hurt herself.
Not when she has someone else to do it for her.
I tuck that thought away for another day and breathe a sigh of relief when I find Montana lying on the bed in my guest room. “You didn’t eat.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“You need to eat something, Montana. Just try it.” I pick up the plate and hold it out to her. “Please.”
She pushes herself up, and it takes everything in me not to help her. I let her do it herself though. She reaches for the plate and takes a small bite out of one half of the sandwich.
