Page 15 of Puck Blocked
“I’ll stop when I think you’re clean enough. You let that filthy piece of shit touch you. You think I’m going to touch you after that? No. You need to get clean,” he seethes and pushes my head back under the water.
Again, my body thrashes, the fight for survival taking over as I try with every morsel of energy I have to get up. To suck in some air. Just when I think this is it, that he’s not actually going to pull me back up this time, he does.
I don’t plead with him anymore. It’s useless. If I comply and take the punishment, it’ll be over a lot quicker. I should know that he never listens to reason. The truth is I didn’t let anyone touch me, but Andrew’s convinced I let the server at the coffee shop caress my hand.
“Filthy fucking whore. This is your fault, Montana. If you just followed the rules, I wouldn’t have to do this. But you can’t do something that should be so fucking simple, can you?” he hisses at me. “So fucking beautiful, but so fucking stupid.” Andrew pauses to cup my cheek, and then he’s pushing me back under.
“No!” I scream as my head shoots out of the water, my chest heaving and my own voice echoing off the walls. As my eyes scan the room, the present comes back into focus.
I’m not there. And he’s not here.
And then the sobs rack my body. I bring my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them. The bathroom door bursts open, and my body stiffens until I see Luke.
“Fuck, Tanna.” He curses under his breath before walking over to the tub.
I don’t move. I barely breathe. I can’t do anything but sit here and let the tears fall down my face. Luke climbs in behind me, closes his arms around my waist, and pulls me back against his chest.
“I’ve got you. You’re okay,” he whispers, his voice breaking, which only makes me cry harder.
I’m not okay. Nothing about me is okay. I don’t think I ever will be either.
But right now, I let myself take comfort in Luke’s hold as he continues to whisper promises against my ear. Telling me I’m safe, that he’s got me.
Eventually the tears dry up and my body starts shaking from the cold instead of the fear. I have no idea how long we sit in the tub. Luke fully clothed. And me, well, not. “I’m going to get up and get some towels,” he says.
I don’t move, keeping my knees drawn up to my chest. I watch him as he pulls his wet shirt over his head and something on his ribs catches my attention. No, not something. A name.
My name. Written in script across his right rib cage. “Luke?”
“Yeah?”
“Why do you have the word Montana tattooed on you?” I ask while my mind insists that maybe he just really likes the state…
“It’s not a word. It’s a name. Your name,” he says as he holds out a towel for me to take.
“Why do you have my name on your body?”
“Because I wanted a piece of you with me, in some way. I knew I couldn’t have you, not really, but I could have your name. You were already stamped all over my heart, Tanna, so why not stamp you on my skin?” He shrugs like he hasn’t just dropped a giant bombshell.
“I was stamped on your heart?” I haven’t moved from the tub. I’m not sure that I can.
“You are stamped on my heart, Tanna. You’re the only girl I’ve given it to. You just never knew.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because it’s not right. Sean’s my best friend. I can’t betray his trust.”
I nod my head like I understand. But I don’t. I don’t understand at all.
Instead of asking Luke to explain, though, I take the towel, push to my feet, and step out of the chilled water. I probably should have asked Luke to turn around, give me privacy, because when he gets a good look at my body, a string of expletives falls out of his mouth. His hands fist at his sides and I take a step back. Except there’s nowhere to go. My legs hit the edge of the tub as I wrap the towel tighter around me.
“Fuck.” Luke runs a hand through his hair before moving towards the door to add more space between us. “I’m sorry. I’d never hurt you, Tanna. I fucking hate that you’re scared of me. That I’ve done anything that made you even a little afraid of me.”
“I…” I don’t know what to say to that. It’s instinct. I can’t help the way I react.
“It’s okay. The clothes Aliyah bought are all on the bed in your room. I’ll be downstairs.” He pauses, like he wants to say more. But then he turns, stopping when he’s standing on the threshold. “Just know that you will always be safe here. No one is going to lay a hand on you in this house, Tanna.”
It’s a nice fantasy, but that’s all it is. I realized that after the first few times Andrew hurt me, then promised to never let it happen again. And I believed him. I won’t make the same mistake twice.
